Bad grades all around

I tend to grade the people I deal with on a daily basis. I base my grade on their ability to carry themselves through their daily lives, and their ability to make reasonable, intelligent and logical choices. There are bonus points for inspiring others to better themselves, as well as demerits for being a dumbass or an asshole. The Dalai Lama ranks in the high 90's, while Bill O'Reilly barely even registers.

Sure, this kinda paints a portrait of me as an elitist snob, but please keep in mind that I grade myself somewhere around 70%.

My point in telling you this (and by you I mean the 18 people a day that actually read my little diatribes), is that it's just a flimsy pretext to convey to you the kind of people I have had to deal with for the past few days; the average grade seems to be around 20%. Of course, I could just say that people are fucking stupid, but I've never been a traveler of the path of least resistance.

Yesterday, I had to deal with a man who, to put it lightly, couldn't find his own ass with a map, both hands and a sherpa. The man has been to our office five times, and has had to call for directions every time. Incidentally, the man is a minister. Not to say that all men of the cloth are this absent-minded, but it made me laugh to think that while it is commendable to give one's life to the Lord, I don't think basic memory skills were part of the contract.

Anyway, the guy nitpicked his most recent job to death. No detail was insignificant, something always had to be wrong, and it was his duty to find it. We went over everything with this guy, from paper stock, to ink colors, to fonts...everything. We proofed it on the computer monitor, black and white prints, color prints, email... making dozens of little tweaks along the way... on a business card. We finally got the layout approved, we got the cards printed, he signed for them, paid his bill and left.

Yesterday, he called back wanting to print them again, with more changes, and he wanted them done for free. They just weren't what he had in mind, and apparently, it was my fault. Nevertheless, he's gonna keep and use the old cards. This is equivalent to going to Wal-Mart, buying a full cart load of things you know you don't want, and instead of returning the items or not paying for them in the first place, you just leave the items at home and kick the greeter in the nuts. GRADE: 15%

There was another job that was proofed at least a dozen times, by six different people, over the course of two months, and the mistakes weren't noticed until it was printed and handed out to at least 200 people. Each person who looked at this thing had control over their own segment of brochure, and each person is an intelligent person I've worked with before, but no one looked at any other part. So, details got overlooked. Gee, I want to be on a committee someday, just so I can be forgiven of the responsibility of reading every thing that gets put in front of me. GRADE: (Individuals on average) 80%, (as a committee) 10%

Today at lunch, I hit the drive-thru at Braums for a bacon cheeseburger combo. The fries were still frozen in the center and a crucial part of the burger was missing... namely the burger patty. I'm glad I got impatient and decided to try and eat on the way back to the office. That way, I just had to backtrack about a block to return the iced potatoes and the worst BLT on the planet. The trainee who made the food just giggled. GRADE: 12%

On the way back home tonight, a man made a right turn at a busy intersection... from the left turn lane... on a red light... and had the nerve to be pissed at the person that hit him. GRADE: 2%

Playing online poker tonight, I wasn't paying attention to what buttons I was pressing, and went all in with an 8 high. I got beat by a pair of twos. GRADE: 1% if I was using a pay-to-play site, but thankfully I wasn't.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow, the grades will be higher.