So, this is the result of two million years of human evolution?

They just had a report on the news about the latest trend for teenagers to get high: Choking each other into unconsciousness. I'm reminded about something Dennis Miller once said, you know, before he became a right wing nutjob. He said, "You could get get rid of all the drugs on the planet, and people will just start spinning around on the front lawn until they're too dizzy to stand up."

Wanna know the first word that came to my mind when I saw this report? Eugenics. Thinning the herd. Any kid dumb enough to willingly let a friend put them in a sleeper hold has a fairly good chance of not growing up to have kids of their own. I'm not advocating drug use for kids and teenagers, but there's gotta be some sort of statement to come out of this about our declining civilization when kids resort to cutting oxygen from their brains instead of asking around to see if anyone knows where they can score some pot?

And it's not too difficult to find some pot these days, is it? Not at all. Ask ten random people and I guarantee you at least one of them has a connection. See how well that war on drugs has worked out for us? Funny how I can find high grade weed when I apply myself, but thanks to government regulations, I can't find a cold medicine worth a damn when I'm actually sick!

I'm waiting for the PSA's on this choking thing. They'll start claiming that hugging is a gateway drug or some bullshit like that.

On the other hand, one good thing to potentially come out of this choking craze is the possibility that professional wrestling will be taken off the air due to its promoting of the choke hold. Because that's the first rule of government regulation of behavior: Go after the most famous person emulating that heinous act, regardless of how directly connected to the problem they may be, and let everything else fall through the cracks.

Thanks to Janet Jackson, we'll never see anyone under the age of fifty, or female for that matter, play another Super Bowl halftime show ever again...but we'll let Bret Michaels have his own reality show where he makes hot women play tackle football in the mud to win his affections. News pundits get to wag their fingers at people like Amy Winehouse for doing drugs before cutting to five commercials in a row for various prescription medications.

Think I'm blowing this a little out of proportion? Consider this: When they released the teaser trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie this past week, something seemed a bit odd. They came to the shot that revealed Indy's face for the first time, and there was a weird glitch in the belt/pants area of the guy standing next to him. Watch it, preferably the high-def version. It's the shot where Ray Winstone has his hands up and says, "This isn't gonna be easy."

SIDE NOTE: Trust me, this isn't the weirdest way I've ever tied a discussion back to Indiana Jones.

My first thought when I discovered this little glitch was that it was crappy internet video trying to catch up to my streaming speed. When it fully loaded, I played it back and the problem was still there. So, I then thought, bad digital composite rushed out to get the trailer done. A few message boards later, I found out something more sinister at foot...thanks to our ever on-the-ball friends at the MPAA Ratings Board.

You see, America has a sensitivity towards gun violence in our media. Plus, we're at war at the moment, so seeing American soldiers pointing guns at innocent people is a bit too much for audiences to handle, regardless of the context. So, this particular shot had to be retouched for release in American theaters. To confirm this, I watched the international version of the trailer. Here's a side-by-side for you, for further proof.See?!? Guns in the American release are pointed away from our hero(es)! Forgiving the fact that the movie is set in 1957, and rumor has it Indy and his sidekick have sneaked on to a top secret military base (Area 51 if the hardcore geeks are to be believed), having the guns in there was a little too much for us to swallow.

But yet, there is a film in theaters right now called Step Up 2 The Streets, where every ad, poster and trailer shows the same teenage girl in a skintight shirt dancing rather suggestively in the pouring rain. No word on whether the MPAA made them airbrush out what usually appears when a woman wears a skintight shirt in the rain, or if the filmmakers foresaw a problem and made the actress use a couple pieces of gaffer tape to avoid the controversy of impending extruding nipples.

Not that I would have a problem with that sort of thing. I for one am glad they didn't pass such notes when Kirsten Dunst was in that rainy alleyway in the trailer for the first Spider-man. Now, if I can just get Ms. Dunst to un-block my number.

My point is, it's one thing to call for sensitivity. If Janet Jackson's nipple means I have to listen to Tom Petty at the Super Bowl, so be it. It's something altogether different to insult our intelligence by unreasonable censorship. Having four guns drawn on Harrison Ford isn't gonna make someone go out and buy a fucking gun, nor is it gonna make the kids think trespassing on government installations seems like a cool idea.

Likewise, while it's commendable to talk to your kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and have them understand that to the point that they avoid using them, you might want to mention that having their friends take turns nearly strangling them to death is not a logical alternative. If they fail to grasp that obvious concept, like most addicts, maybe it's best to let them hit rock bottom before they realize how stupid they're being.

However, with this disturbing trend, we mustn't forget that this may add a little chlorine to the gene pool. Just sayin'!