Good one, God!

The Context:

Comedy Night at the Nightingale. My stand-up set, December 7, 2008. I was making a point about some of the stupid little phrases people say during political discussions. I go off on a little diatribe about invoking the opinions of the founding fathers, citing the massive generation gap as proof that the founding fathers simply wouldn't understand anything in today's culture, then launching that point towards people who invoke the name of Jesus Christ in political discourse.

The Joke:

I also find it funny when people bring Jesus into a political discussion, particularly if we're not talking about religion. Gee, I don't remember that part of the Bible that condemned the capital gains tax, but thanks for playing!

It's a little arrogant to think that Jesus cares about our politics, don't you think? I don't mean any offense to Christians by that statement, I'm just saying that the last time Jesus got involved in government, it didn't work out too well for him.

Jesus: "I'm King of the Jews!"

Romans: "Oh, really?"

[I quickly pound three imaginary nails into a cross, using the microphone as a hammer] BOOM, BOOM*, BOOM!

Romans: "See you in three days, Your Highness."

The Karmic Retribution:

Despite the fact that I practiced the microphone part of the gag many times beforehand, on the second boom, as indicated in the joke by the *, I smacked the shit out of my knuckle. The message here is pretty clear: God gave me, as we say in the stand-up business, feedback.

In other words, I was heckled by God!

The After-Effects:

See for yourself...

Now, it may not look that bad, but it still hurts like a bastard!

Further Proof:

Science would explain this that it was the metal mesh on the business end of the microphone leaving this imprint on my knuckle, but it's still kinda creepy that it sorta makes a cross.

Here's the Deal, Lord:

If, in fact, you did smite me for joking about your son, I gotta admit, it was a good one. Granted, a bolt of lightning would've been a much better closer to my set, but you're the boss! However, you gotta concede that the joke got a good laugh from the crowd.

So, here's the deal: Let me keep the joke in my act, and each time I do it on stage, I'll do...something. I'll donate to charity, I'll lay off the porn for a week, I'll do something of equal or greater value to the audience's reaction to atone for my sin. Have we got a deal?