Ah, venting is fun...
Not that I'm developing delusions of grandeur or anything, but I may soon have to confront some rather disturbing facets of my supposed infamous reputation. Because after meeting several new people around town recently and hearing, "Oh, yes...I've heard all about you...", and when I press for some of this information they laugh nervously and change the subject, I began to suspect that I may be the protagonist/antagonist of some fairly juicy rumors around town.
I have managed to beat some details out of friends who were in the know, and many of the details have ranked at about sun-dried tomato level on the juiciness scale. Things about my dating history, some of which were based on solid facts, have found new life in works of fiction via word of mouth. However, most of it was frankly a bit flattering because it painted me in an intriguing light to members of the opposite sex, but still easily debunked by anyone who has known me for over, say, one hour.
And it comes with the territory. I mean, I have done quite a bit over the past year that has gotten me at least some notoriety around town, and I guess I'm not so surprised that some falsehoods get spread around about me. I've just been able to brush them off as gossip.
That is, until this newest one.
I wish not to repeat the rumor here because I do not want to give it any more power than it already has. I will say that it doesn't just involve me, it also involves one of my closest friends and by proxy, her family. And if you have heard anything about this rumor, rest assured it is absolutely, 1,000% NOT TRUE.
You see, I don't normally draw lines in the sand, but this is a running jump over that line. Say what you will about me - I can take that - but if you get anyone I care about involved, then it's time I sharpen my claws.
However, the rumor itself is not the thing that pisses me off the most. It's that a good friend of mine has either perpetrated the rumor or perpetuated it. It is irrelevant whether this person is the main offender by starting it or the accessory after the fact by spreading it. Either way, anything short of detailed evidence, flowcharts, and 27 - 8 X 10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and paragraphs on the back of each one proving that this person was not involved in any way is gonna deter me from casting away someone I have known and here-to-fore loved for close to a third of my life.
For those of you doing the math in your head, and you're NOT getting that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that I may be speaking about you, let me say this: Talk of this matter ends here. Don't ask me to secretly explain my cryptic messages because I don't want this to begin any more drama and unnecessary bullshit than it already has. This posting is merely a means for me to vent all of this vitriolic anger and mind-boggling feeling of betrayal by a person whom I have trusted from the moment we met up until about three hours ago.
And if you ARE getting that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, don't feel like you need to avoid me. Just go on like nothing's nothing, and if my response to your hello are the words, "We need to talk.", then believe me, we will have words.
Oooooooh, will we have words. Words that could shred Kevlar. Words that would make a drill sergeant piss his pants. I'm even reading the dictionary cover to cover in case I need backups. I have made an appointment with a German language professor in case I run out of words in English. I might even ask for occasional breaks for Gatorade. I'm making a mix tape of inspirational, albeit angry, music in my head to act as a soundtrack to our little talk.
This...is gonna be brutal. Legend. Epic. The mother of all fuck-off's, and in many people's opinions, long overdue.
Sleep tight.
3 comments:
Rumors can ruin friendships...
I had one spread around about me way back in College, and a large bulk of my "friends" just started treating me like moldy onions. It took years before I found out what the rumor even was, but I never really found out who perpetrated it.
It's all in the past now, and ironically, I still call everyone friends, but believe me, it was one of the worst things that ever happened to a guy who needed all the friends I could get. To have my friendships sabotaged by by a ridiculous rumor that no one even had the balls to confront me with.
The irony is, I think that the rumor that I had to contend with was an honest mistake on the part of my friends.
Good luck, but try and settle this without bloodshed. Or else you may become victim to some rumors about that too.
On an another note, my condolences to your loss. I know you were a huge fan of George Carlin. I know i didn't see it coming.
Oh Fritschie. How easily people just flake out on others. True friends don't spread rumors about each other. Hopefully, you'll be able to get to the bottom of it without having to make a shiv. And seconding Nate's comment about George. I also thought of you and how devastated you'd be to hear that George Carlin had passed. My condolences as well to you my dear friend in your time of need. Your pal, Al.
Fritschie, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm pretty sure it's not that squirrel thing I've been telling people.
I do have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it's probably the breakfast burrito I got from the lunch truck at work. I could also be that a good friend of mine is pissed off. I hate it when people piss off my friends.
If we happen be at the same place and I hear you say, "we need to talk" to somebody, rest assured that I will be there for you with little cups of water on sticks, Icy-Hot for sudden cramps, a towel, and perhaps a Thesarus should you need one. All while maintaing a respectable distance and pretending that there is nothing to see here, move along, move along.
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