Rough set

There are a lot of bad things to happen to a stand-up comic. Third worst would have to be "death on stage" meaning your set completely bombed. Second is literal death on stage, no matter if it's natural or otherwise...You're still dead. And I would guess the absolute worst is literal near death...because hey, how the hell can you top resurrection as a gimmick!

No, I experienced the fourth worst fate for a stand-up: Going up first. My material was solid. I delivered my lines in proper order, and didn't get too distracted by the far-too-sober, not-quite-ready-to-laugh audience. My jokes were good, and the crowd wasn't totally unresponsive. They did laugh, but more in a politely distracted kind of way.

After my set, I went outside to chain smoke about half a pack to calm my nerves. Didn't help. What did help was getting something to eat and catching the rest of the show. Knowing I was going on stage, I skipped dinner because puking on the front row wasn't the kind of "edge" my act needed. The rest of the show went pretty smoothly by the time the featured comedian got up for his set.

Much like flying an airplane, the majority of turbulence occurs between take-off and cruising altitude. My set just happened to go on before the flight attendants started serving cocktails.