Smoking bad

I gotta say, my friends suck. I've been trying to cave in and have a cigarette, and they're blocking me at every juncture. Damn them and their "support".

Naturally, tensions are a bit high because I'm fast-tracking the nicotine lozenge plan. It's supposed to be a 12-week plan. One lozenge every 1-2 hours for the first six weeks, one every 2-4 hours for the next four weeks, and one ever 4-8 hours for the final two weeks. Fuck that, and I'll tell you why:

First of all, one of the main reasons I decided to quit was because I wanted to actually taste things again. That's a little hard when you have a nasty-tasting lozenge in your mouth every waking moment for the first six weeks. Second, I'd like to be able to drink a carbonated beverage without the lozenge, or remnants thereof, causing a chemical reaction that I can only describe as being like a fire extinguisher exploding in my mouth.

Lastly, the main lesson in overcoming any addiction is the withdrawal. The goal is to make it to that first day without the shakes. And cigarettes are the only drug that I can think of whose best process for quitting is to deal yourself smaller and smaller doses over time. Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't ration beer out to its new members. You don't cure a heroin addict by cutting his smack thinner every time. Compulsive gamblers don't switch to playing solitaire.

I figure I got it easy. All I gotta do is learn to relieve a little bit of tension every once and a while. I'll take the lozenges when I absolutely need to, but I'm not gonna follow a plan that would make me dependent on those things.

Besides, I can say with 99% certainty that I wont be going back. I went ahead and smoked that last cigarette I had stored in the freezer, and it tasted like shit. I'm far enough over the hump now to know that if I ever again smoke a cigarette, I'll be reminded by taste and smell why I shouldn't take it up again. I can't promise that I won't have one every now and again when I'm drunk, but not on a regular basis.