More random thoughts

I read today that Simon Pegg from Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz will be playing young Scotty in the new Star Trek movie.

If Paul McCartney dies before Ringo Starr, then we truly will have lost all of the Beatles in the exact opposite order than we rightfully should have.

I will never again play one of the specialty versions of Monopoly. No matter what version it is, I'll always call the properties by their original names.

The fact that someone still cares about what Britney Spears is doing is the reason the aliens haven't landed and shared their knowledge and wisdom with us.

Internet porn stopped being about sex years ago. Now, it's just a bunch of exhibitionists trying to one-up each other on the shock factor.

Calling Ann Coulter an expert political commentator is like calling Willy Wonka a nutritionist.

I read a news article recently claiming that Crocs shoes are dangerous on escalators, causing them to get caught and causing serious injury to the wearer's feet. As much as I like this to be a profound statement about those ugly-ass things possibly crippling the trendy assholes at the mall who wear them, it can't be. The way the world works, this won't stop people from wearing them. Instead, they'll find a way to make limping the next big thing.

I think I've finally reached the age where seeing Princess Leia in the gold bikini slave outfit does absolutely nothing for me.

I wonder what the Vatican's official position is on the word Jeebus. Is it a curse word, or does it fall into the same category as dang or shoot?

Al Gore wins an Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize in one year. George Bush has had at least ten documentaries made about his incompetence and has started two wars in the past six years. I'm all for proof of balance in the universe, but this is a bit ridiculous.

I used to believe that we should be allowed to carry around rubber stamps that read "This person is an idiot" to be used on the foreheads of stupid people, but I've changed my mind on that. It really should be a branding iron.

I'm glad the writers of Grey's Anatomy are finally getting on with the storyline. If I hade to sit through one more episode where George wasn't gonna tell Callie the truth, I was gonna shoot the TV.

I often wonder what I'd look like at my ideal body weight. But those kind of thoughts only remind me there's pudding cups in the fridge.

We all have short attention spans hardwired into our DNA. Every single one of us learns how to play dominoes, yet every one of us instinctually wants to place them on end and make interesting patterns in which to topple. If it weren't for this instinct, we would never have the phrase "domino effect".

I miss the Muppet Show.