A place for my stuff

Between work and looking at apartment listings online, My eyeballs should be bleeding any minute, if they weren't so damned dry as a result of allergies.

My needs are pretty simple as far as the apartment is concerned. I need it to be around the $350/Month range (not too hard fro the Tulsa market), they gotta accept pets (Chuckles the cat), and it has to be in the Midtown/Downtown area. So far in my search I've found a few good ones, some decent backup options, and some real doozies in case I get really desperate.

One that I'm really interested to see is in Midtown, in a seemingly nice neighborhood, but the price is curiously/suspiciously low, especially since it's all bills paid. This means it's either A) really small, B) really dingy, or C) Ancient Indian Burial Ground Site. Which I don't really care on any of those counts because A) I don't have a lot of stuff, B) I can clean it up, and C) I don't care too much about bleeding walls if the rent is cheap.

I should be getting a call from the landlord tomorrow, so I'll report more as it develops.

What's my name again?

I just hope that I'm not the only one on the planet that sometimes gets so bogged down with the things that HAVE to get done that I don't recognize my own face in the mirror. Today, I got so flustered with stress that when I went to pick up the phone, I had to look down at my business card holder to remember what my name was.

It's been absolutely crazy. I get through the big project only to find ALL of the jobs waiting in line behind them. throw into the mix that I gotts be out of my duplex by the 15th and I just started my new apartment search tonight. Yesterday, I started to tackle organizing all of my stuff for the moving sale and the move. I've been fighting my pack-rat tendencies and have tried to get rid of at least 1/3 of my stuff before the move. I figured if I hadn't used it in over a year, it needs to go. But then the sentimental value sets in, or I start to rationalize keeping it and I realize I've spent thirty minutes arguing with myself over a backgammon board.

At work it's another matter. All I want to do is get it all off my desk. Quality control is paramount, but then again I just want the shit DONE! I have only a few minute in the morning to scarf down my breakfast before I have to jump on my workload like the Tazmanian Devil on meth trying to diffuse a timebomb.

All of this is taking its toll on my mind, my spirit and my interpersonal relationships. To some people I care about I've become a self-centered, short fused, unreliable asshole. I don't like being like that. Anyone who knows me understands that's not the kind of person I truly am. I must get through all of this stuff, but it's becoming harder and harder for me to believe that I'll come through unharmed. Today, I found myself washing down a multivitamin, a B-Complex, a gensing pill and a no-doz with a full can of Dr. Pepper. knowing full well that I would have to counter that with a Tylenol PM and a glass of warm milk tonight and simulatneously cursing and thanking myself for using up all of my muscle relaxers months ago.

Better living through chemistry, my ass.

In my office, stress feeds on stress. I haven't had any major confrontations with my co-workers yet, so it's difficult to determine if I'm the cause or the carrier of everyone's tension. I guess as long as I'm keeping productive, no one really cares.

I'm just trying to take it one task at a time, but even then the list just gets longer and longer. By the time I get home to take inventory of all of my belongings, I'm so worn out that I just want to cry. I keep making lists of everything I need to do/buy/sell and sometimes I forget which list is which.

I feel I'm heading for a crash. Be it emotionally, financially, romantically or other wise. I know it's gonna happen. And even the thought of that being a self-fulfilling prophecy irks the living shit out of me.

People get ready

"In my office, there's one editorial rule: Never write anything longer than the average person can read during the average crap."
-Jeff Goldblum (playing a People Magazine reporter) in The Big Chill

Friday night, I got to go home at five and start cleaning up the house for the People Magazine photo shoot. I was told that they wanted to get shots of Candy and I doing "roommate" stuff but not make it look like we're a couple. This confused me to no end. What can she and I possibly do in front of a camera that doesn't make us look like a couple. It wasn't until the photo shoot began on Saturday morning that the only difference between a "roommate" shot and a "couple" shot is that in a "roommate" shot you're standing on opposite sides of the frame from one another. That was the main direction we got: "Don't stand so close."

It was fun, though. I had a make-up stylist conceal the evidence of working 70 hours this week. She puit pomade in my hair, and yes, I made an O Brother, Where Art Thou/Dapper Dan reference. The wardrobe stylist ironed my Arnie's Bar t-shirt, so I hope I got away with a little free national publicity for the bar.

After the shoot, I went straight to the office to finish up the last of our big project. I didn't realize until I got to the office that I still had the make-up on. I had to explain that to people so they would know that I was much more tired than I actually looked.

After that, I went home and watched DVD's until I had to go work the door at Arnie's. Libby came by and visited me for a while, calling me a Poopypants for not wanting to do shots with her. Sleep deprivation and hard liquor was not gonna be a good mix for me at that point. I spent most of my time outside the front door, where even with earplugs in, I could hear the band playing across the street, and boy did they suck. It was a band called "Band Camp", and what they lack in talent, they sure make up for in VOLUME!!! I understand that every band has to start somewhere, but for Chist's sake, they were doing covers of "Word Up", "What I Like About You", "Cowboy" by Kid Rock, a rock version of the bluegrass cover of "Gin & Juice", etc. If any of you can remember several years ago when that one lady tried to sue Entertainment Tonight because Marry Hart's voice kept giving her seizures, well, that's what this band was doing to me, only instead of seizures, it was an uncontrolable urge to do horrible things to the lead singer with a bucket of water and a bad extension cord.

Anyway, Steve Pryor finished up his set early, and so I got to go home early to get some much needed sleep. In order to get through the last few weeks of work, I've been taking no-doz just to get through it all. Last night I took the last pill in the box and it gave me just enough energy to finish up the shift at Arnie's drive home and crawl into bed.

Today, I slept in and had plenty of time before the repoter from People came by for the interview. Candy and I told her our story, and it was really nice to have this opportunity to reflect on our lives over the past couple years. I'm really psyched to see how the article turns out. The way I figure it, even if it turns out completely embarrasing, I can at least say that I managed to get the Arnie's Bar logo in the shot...unless they airbrush it out.

The issue is supposed to hit newsstands this Friday, ENJOY!

Oh, it's on!

The interview is a go. Tomorrow morning, the photographer and a couple stylists are gonna come by the house and get shots of Candy and I doing roommate stuff. Sunday afternoon, a reporter is driving up from Dallas to interview us. If it's deemed interesting enough by the editors, I will be appearing in People Magazine next month.

So, tonight, I gotta clean up the house and make it look like we actually live there, instead of the way it looks now, which is a warehouse for Candy's boxed-up belongings and my shit scattered around like I haven't cleaned in three weeks (which is true).

Add to that the fact that I gotta put in my final hours on our big project Saturday afternoon, work the door on Saturday night...Jesus, how did I get this busy?

National exposure for being too busy/lazy to find an apartment

Let me set the scene. I'm at work Monday, completely stressed out. I decide to take a little break and check my email. One message is waiting for me...from a reporter from a big national magazine (I won't mention the name for fear of being sued, suffice to say that it has one of the highest distribution rates of any magazine in the country). Turns out, to coincide with the release of the upcoming movie The Break-Up, they're doing a little piece on couples who continue to live together after they break up. Apparently, they did a google search on "living with my ex" and they found my blog.

I respond to the email and see what it's all about. Sometime next week, I'll have to sit down for an hour or so and be interviewed. Candy and I are gonna have our pictures taken. Still, this is no guarantee that we'll even make it into the article. I think the fact that we'll be in the middle of packing up to move out may have put an interesting spin on the premise.

As soon as I hit SEND on the reply email, I turn around to find my boss standing behind me wearing his bicycle shorts. He was about to go for a bike ride...innocent enough...but after the weirdness behind that email and seeing my boss like that, I halfway expected a midget on fire to run through the room.

I mean, of all of those unique qualities of my life, and of all the things to get national recognition for, it's the fact that Candy and I were too lazy to want to move topped the list.

I can't help but think of many years from now, when I'm old and gray, I'll be going through some baxes in the attic and come across a copy of this magazine, read it again, and laugh my ass off. I'm hoping and praying that this won't be my proverbial fifteen minutes.

A quick update

It's now Thursday, 1:39 a.m., I've put in 44 hours so far this week...I've got at least another 30 to go. I'm waiting on two things at the moment: The laser printer spitting out proof pages, and for the caafeine to wear off enough for me to go home and get some sleep.

This is what the month of May is generally like for me. However, this one is quite different. The big project we're working on is 20% larger than it has been in previous years, we're running about five days behind, and we have 16 days from today to have this frickin' thing finished and in the customer's hands. I've had to remind my boss at least five times every day that we will make it on time, even if it hairlips the Governor (as my boss always says).

I've lost ten pounds in the past week and a half due to stress, all I've had to eat is whatever the drive-thru can give me in less than five minutes, and I'm feeling surprisingly fine about it all. On the other hand, I know this whole thing is really trying Libby's patience. She texts me every night asking me if I'm done. She wants to see me and I really want to see her. Once this is all over, I need to make this all up to her. Maybe a really nice dinner may be in order. Of course, my main concern with that is trying not to fall asleep in my soup.

63:58

Today, as I clocked out from work, I figured up my hours and I was just two minutes shy of 64 hours this week on my time card. I've had weeks like this in the past (many that were worse...my record is 81 hours in a single week), and almost every time it has nearly killed me with exhaustion. However, I'm feeling really good.

I've had very little sleep this week, but I don't really give a shit. I'm getting a lot of work done, and despite the fact that it's still gonna be a photo finish on this big project we're working on, I'm confident that I'll come through with my sanity on check. I think the reason is that I'm prioritizing my work to allow for some down time...not neccesarily SLEEP, but activities other than work. In the past week, in addition to working 64 hours at my day job, I have managed to:

- Go out with Libby...twice. Gee, she's swell!

- Work my normal six-hour shift at Arnie's.

- Get R2-D2 girl at work to finally quit making her annoying noises...although it's because I pissed her off to the point that she's not speaking to me altogether...but hey....I'll tell you all about this later.

- Made it through the entire first season of 24, two box sets of Mystery Science Theater, Star Wars and The Jerk on DVD while I worked.

- Sorted out all my DVDs and CDs with my roommate in preparation for the big moving sale the first weekend in June.

- Started searching for my next apartment...so far nothing that I like. Anyone in Tulsa that knows of a place in Downtown/midtown for less than $350 a month that takes pets, please shoot me an email.

- Comforted my future cat Chuck through the trauma of having the other two cats go away with my roommate's mom out to the country. I volunteered to take Chuck because...well, he and I are good buddies. Plus all he does is eats, sleeps and uses the litterbox. I admire his low-to-nil-maintenance attitude.

- Made plans to go visit my folks over Memorial Day weekend...even if it's just for Sunday and Monday (I gotta work at Arnie's Saturday night).

- Do laundry.

- See my friend's band play TWICE. Once on Wednesday and once on Friday.

And just how did I make this through? By remembering how I developed my work ethic in the first place. I remembered my mom, and how I would come downstairs and get ready for school and find my mom still awake from the night before and still working her ass off. I remembered Harry Schwartz, my first boss who was the first one to reall crack the whip on me, and teach me to not constantly whine about the work, particularly when I just happen to be wearing a Nike "Just Do It" shirt...he never let me live THAT one down. But perhaps most importantly, I think of my current boss, who is polishing his ass-kicking boot at this very moment just in case I don't get the job done.

Ten things you'll NEVER hear on "24"

10. "Now, all we can do is wait."
9. "Oh, just let him do his own thing."
8. "No worries."
7. "Boy, I really gotta pee."
6. "Give me a minute, AOL keeps booting me off."
5. "Gee, the President sure seems to be taking this all in stride."
4. "Wanna play Warcraft over the network?"
3. "Oh, fiddlesticks!"
2. "What's that beeping? Is someone microwaving a burrito?"
1. "Does anyone else think it's weird that something really big always happens every hour on the hour? I mean, you could set your watch to any given crisis around here!"

Okay, I'm back

So, I've found the secret to making it through a night of working the door at a bar. Before I went in to work tonight, I stopped off at QuikTrip and got myself a Red Bull and one of those little herbal energy pill packets they have next to the register. I took one tablet at the start of my shift, another halfway through and so, it's was four in the morning before I got to sleep. They should really label those pills more truthfully: Time-release crack.

At one time, I promised myself I would try to post on the blog every day. Shortly after that promise, I made it a little more realistic...try to post at least every couple days and never go a full week without putting at least something up there. It's been exactly seven days. I'm just under the wire.

Last weekend I had a blast with my friends back in Arkansas. Only one of them knew I was coming down on Friday, so the rest were really surprised when I crashed the rehearsal dinner. These were the people I worked with at teh Wal-Mart home office for the two years I was in Arkansas. Many of them I also went to college with, so there's a lot of history shared with these folks. But what sets them apart from other people I knew at a certain time and a certain place is the fact that with them, it's not a pick-up-where-we-left-off kinda thing or a remembering-the-good-old-days thing...there's still a great connection there. And even though so much has changed in our respective lives, there's no awkwardness.

I've been thinking about this a lot this week, and I have come to this conclusion: 99 times out of a hundred, people drift apart because life takes them in different directions and many of the people you were once very close to just simply cannot follow you on that particular leg of the journey. With my friends, I feel we've avoided that ptifall because everything that has happened to us has followed a very natural progression. The friends that have hooked up as couples are all now married, those of us that once strived for something better in their lives now have that better life...no one has fallen from grace, no one has been ostracized, no one has strayed, and those of us that have left on their own joureys are still welcome back into the fold at any time for a visit.

After the wedding on Saturday, I had dinner with my friends, then opted to head back to Tulsa to catch Larkin playing at Arnie's. I drove from Northwest Arkansas non-stop to my parking space outside the bar. The place was packed. Libby was in the middle of the crowd and it took me what seemed liek forever to get through the maze of drunks to get to where she was.

Ah, Libby. I know I've been cryptic about her, but I'll try to fill you in as best I can. She and I first met on Myspace, wherein she had sent me messages asking me about the local art scene, but like an Idiot I cleaned out my emails and lost track of her when it was my turn to answer her questions. A few weeks later, i saw her at Arnie's. I was walking out as she was walking in. For a brief moment, I was gonna say something to her, but I thought that "Didn't we meet online?" was the worst pickup line I could've used.

The next day, during a lull in my work, I went online and started searching through friends' friends lists and I found her profile, so I sent her an email asking if she had been at the bar the night before. She replied yes and asked my why I didn't say something to her at the bar, so I pointed out the lousy pickup line I decided not to use. That little back-and-forth fizzled out rather quickly after that.

I ran into her at St. Patrick's Day at Arnies, and we finally spoke to each other face-to-face, even if it was just for a couple minutes. a couple days later, she sent me an email askiing me about my favorite artist, Toulouse-Lautrec. This started emails back and forth, which turned to AIM chats and finally hanging out at the bar.

Early on, I was taking the attitude of doing the thing I was most afraid of (dating) and getting scared afterwards. Surely enough, the fear reared it's ugly head, and that's what the fucked up postings last month were all about. Most of that, about 99.99%, has subsided and everything's great...except for that whole working 60 hours a week and still living with my ex-girlfriend thing, but both of those things will be fixed soon.

This is our busy season at work, and I am in full swing. I'm making it a point to keep working until all i have left are unanswered questions, rather than just finding other things to do until my eyeballs feel like they're about to dry up. That's what's gotten me so burnt out in the past...trying to solve everything and working myself to death in order to find an answer...only to find myself to be wrong the next day.

I'm preparing myself for maybe 70 hours this coming week, plus my normal shift at the bar. Is is better to burn out or to fade away? We'll know by the time June comes around.

Full of curry and tired as hell

The posts are gonna be few and far between this month. We're behind on our big project of the year, and couple that with trying to fine tune the two new kick-ass computer systems we got at work, and triple that with the fact that I drove to and from Arkansas for my firend's wedding over the weekend, and quadruple that with my ever-expanding social schedule.

Many of the friends I've run into over the past few days were fairly concerned about me, given the negative nature of my posts of late. I had to assure them, as I will all of you in blogland, that things are really just great for Fritschie right now. Now, All I gotta do is find the time to write about them, which is not gonna be anytime real soon. For instance, today, I worked 12 hours without a lunch break and went straight to my friend's birthday dinner at an Indian restaurant.

Anyway, more on all this when I have the energy. My next post will be much longer and go into much greater detail. There's a wedding, there's intrigue, and most importantly, there's more about Libby.

Until next time, folks,