This Day in Fritschistory: May 6

1976: (in utero) Learned how to use these newly formed legs to kick my mom in the ribs from inside the womb.

1977: Discovered new combination of "B", "W" and "M" sounds, leading to hours of non-stop "Bwabamubabuwamabababam...". My parents thought it was cute for the first hour.

1979: Won my first "MINE!" argument with my mother, only to discover I didn't want the damned toy anyway.

1983: Ruined the garbage disposal, as well as many of my Star Wars action figures, while playing "Saarlac pit."

1986: A cousin bets me I couldn't eat an entire can of frozen lemonade concentrate. He lost. I spent the remainder of the day in my room with a bellyache, shaking uncontollably and believing I could move things with my mind.

1989: Upon advice from my therapist, I started my first stream-of-conscienceness writing exercise. Wound up transcribing most of Back to the Future from memory before I even started on my own feelings at the moment.

1994: First gave serious thought into my college plans, exactly one month before graduating high school.

1996: Gave up on my week-long Pixy-Stick and Pepsi only diet, which I started because I ran out of college meal plan coupons. Slept for two days straight after crashing from the sugar shock.

1997: After my first week of being a college graduate and staying with my brother and his family, finally cracked open a phone book and started looking for a job.

1998: Realized that my career may have gone a bit awry when my boss asked me what it is I do.

1999: Realized I may have overcorrected my career path when my new boss asked me who I was.

2001: Redoubled my efforts to revitalize my career after several hours sweeping up popcorn at a movie theater.

2003: Pulled my first 80+ hour work week. Was too tired to spend any of the overtime.

2006: While pulling a now routine 80+ work week and packing in preparation for moving at the end of the month, I got an email from a reporter from People Magazine, wanting to interview me about still living with my ex-girlfriend.

2007: Nothing so far.