10 misconceptions one may have about me if they judged their opinions solely on the spam emails I receive on a daily basis

1. My breasts are not as large as I want them to be.

2. I have trouble achieving an erection.

3. I'm paying way too much for name brand software.

4. I'm not properly invested and need to diversify my portfolio.*

5. My girlfriend is not pleased with the size of my penis.*

6. I have difficulty scoring high grade weed.

7. I really like watching drunk teen girls make out.*

8. Foreign government officials often seek out my help with moving their money to a safe location.

9. Companies trust me to test out their products for free.

10. I've had trouble with internet dating sites in the past.*


* To be fair, this may not be far from the truth.