People get ready

"In my office, there's one editorial rule: Never write anything longer than the average person can read during the average crap."
-Jeff Goldblum (playing a People Magazine reporter) in The Big Chill

Friday night, I got to go home at five and start cleaning up the house for the People Magazine photo shoot. I was told that they wanted to get shots of Candy and I doing "roommate" stuff but not make it look like we're a couple. This confused me to no end. What can she and I possibly do in front of a camera that doesn't make us look like a couple. It wasn't until the photo shoot began on Saturday morning that the only difference between a "roommate" shot and a "couple" shot is that in a "roommate" shot you're standing on opposite sides of the frame from one another. That was the main direction we got: "Don't stand so close."

It was fun, though. I had a make-up stylist conceal the evidence of working 70 hours this week. She puit pomade in my hair, and yes, I made an O Brother, Where Art Thou/Dapper Dan reference. The wardrobe stylist ironed my Arnie's Bar t-shirt, so I hope I got away with a little free national publicity for the bar.

After the shoot, I went straight to the office to finish up the last of our big project. I didn't realize until I got to the office that I still had the make-up on. I had to explain that to people so they would know that I was much more tired than I actually looked.

After that, I went home and watched DVD's until I had to go work the door at Arnie's. Libby came by and visited me for a while, calling me a Poopypants for not wanting to do shots with her. Sleep deprivation and hard liquor was not gonna be a good mix for me at that point. I spent most of my time outside the front door, where even with earplugs in, I could hear the band playing across the street, and boy did they suck. It was a band called "Band Camp", and what they lack in talent, they sure make up for in VOLUME!!! I understand that every band has to start somewhere, but for Chist's sake, they were doing covers of "Word Up", "What I Like About You", "Cowboy" by Kid Rock, a rock version of the bluegrass cover of "Gin & Juice", etc. If any of you can remember several years ago when that one lady tried to sue Entertainment Tonight because Marry Hart's voice kept giving her seizures, well, that's what this band was doing to me, only instead of seizures, it was an uncontrolable urge to do horrible things to the lead singer with a bucket of water and a bad extension cord.

Anyway, Steve Pryor finished up his set early, and so I got to go home early to get some much needed sleep. In order to get through the last few weeks of work, I've been taking no-doz just to get through it all. Last night I took the last pill in the box and it gave me just enough energy to finish up the shift at Arnie's drive home and crawl into bed.

Today, I slept in and had plenty of time before the repoter from People came by for the interview. Candy and I told her our story, and it was really nice to have this opportunity to reflect on our lives over the past couple years. I'm really psyched to see how the article turns out. The way I figure it, even if it turns out completely embarrasing, I can at least say that I managed to get the Arnie's Bar logo in the shot...unless they airbrush it out.

The issue is supposed to hit newsstands this Friday, ENJOY!