Introspection alert level: Red

I can't go into much detail, but this afternoon, I pretty much re-lived one of the pivotal bad moments of my life from a slightly different perspective. It was happening almost identically to the way it happened to me years ago, and in trying to help the situation, I found myself flooded with realizations of how horribly I acted back then, how things could've been handled differently, and was reminded of the pain I experienced.

I can't go into it too much, because A) it may still be going on at this moment, and B) it's not proper for me to air out other people's shit. Nevertheless, it was akin to my grandfather's death causing me to relive my father's death 14 years before. The main difference this time being that I'm not having to deal with the pain of a new experience. It's all about empathy now, and not only am I nearly powerless to change anything about it, I'm feeling as shitty as someone could possibly feel without actually being responsible.

Fuck it, I'm gonna go get drunk.