I now have all the tools to be a really vindictive bastard

I clocked out today with 18 hours overtime for the week. I'm torn about it. I really need the money, but a lot of what I had to do this past week either shouldn't have taken me that long or I shouldn't have had to do it at all, what with our other artist doing absolutely jack shit while I was on vacation. Oh, well...bills will get paid and the work's that much closer to being done.

Last night at Arnie's was a first for me. The first week of school, plus heavy rain, plus the ReggaeFest going on down the street, plus the band being an hour late equals a long, slow night. So help me, I spent fifteen minutes watching a couple have an arguement about five inches outside the front door.

I also got to talking with this one guy and somehow the topic of conversation got on pranks. I've always been a big fan of pranks, but this guy made me look like a chump in this department. I've always been one to pull the temprary pranks, the ones that require minimal cleaning but still gets the point across...

Like putting marbles behind someone's hub caps so they think their transmission is crapping out on them...

Or like that time that me and my friends coated this one guy's white leather driver's seat with cream cheese frosting and sculpted it so at a casual glance it looks just like the leather...

Or sprinkling laundry detergent on someone's lawn so it foams up next time it rains...

Or putting a thin layer of hand lotion on someone's mouse, keyboard, phone, etc. so everything at their desk is moist and they don't know why...

Or that Mac extension I used to have that disables the vowel keys...

Or the squirt gun full of dandruff shampoo. All your victim knows is they've got blue stinky goo in their hair and they don't know where it came from...

Or by taking apart the receiver to someon'e desk phone and stretching a sheet of wax paper or the earpiece and the mouthpiece so that everything they say and hear sounds like it's coming through a kazoo.


Yet, this guy was a lot more brutal. One time a woman hacked into his credit line and bought a Corvette in his name. He found out about it, tracked down the car, removed the license plate, had the car crushed into a cube, reattached the license plate and left it in her driveway.

A lot of the other pranks he talked about were of a chemical nature. Like swapping out someone's Armor-All with rubbing alcohol, or writing letters in Miracle Grow in someone's lawn. The one that I thought was best was writing a message on a windshield in transmission fluid, because it fuses with the glass molecules, discolors it and NEVER comes out. For a good temporary equivalent, use Rain-X. Then they'll see the message the next time it rains.

It was this part of the conversation that I remembered something from working in my mother's glass studio. Did you ever see that type of glass that has a crystalline texture to it? It's called glue-chip glass. To make it, you take a pane of glass and spread this special glue on it and leave it in the sun to dry. As it dries, the glue bonds with the glass, cracks and pops off. Those fly off into the air like popcorn and the sound it makes resonates through the glass. It's really cool.

Now, imagine writing a message in someone's windshield in this glue first thing in the morning on a really hot summer day. I'm not sure how well it'll work in one day, but if the guy is leaving town for a couple days and happens to leave his car in the driveway.

All this talk of pranks is really getting me jazzed about the revenge story I'm working on at the moment. This'll be fun.