Thursday night drunken rant

I had one of those nights at Arnie's where no one I know very well bothered to show up. On those nights, I find it best to find a corner to sit in and drink and get lost in my own thoughts. Tonight, I experienced not thoughts, but visions. Visions of the future. Time will only tell if I am right.

I envisioned myself several years form now. I'm in my mid-thirties. I have long since met an amazing woman of unconventional beauty. Her face is the kind you can't help but wonder what combination of origins created it, and whatever you guess, odds are you'd be wrong. Her hair is the kind that changes depanding on the situation and the lighting. That unclassifiable area of blonde, red and brown that seems to confound you when you find yourself having to explain what she lookms like to someone who has never met her. She is natural...not much for make-up (not that she needs it), and what you remember most about her is her way of carrying herself, not what she wears or how she looks.

Years later, a child comes into play. I see myself as a devoted father who would do anything for this child (I see a son), yet exercises enough restraint to not over-protect the child and shelter it from any and all that may come along. This child would view me as his best friend, and would know right from wrong well enough to never have to see me much as a disciplinarian. A well-behaved, well tutored child wise beyond his years.

Years after that, I find myself coming into my own, having found freedom in wealth and creativity that I don't have to do anything, yet can't afford to do nothing. My relationship with this woman I had found escapes this part of the vision for some reason, but my energy is still focused on the child and his development as a human being in this world.

Manty years pass, and I am an old man. I am a creature of habit, but my habits are more good than bad. Sure, I'm not above a drink or two every now and again, but never in enough quantity to worry about. Most of my habits are as they are now...Being there for those that I care for/who care about me, being a good person overall and expanding my knowledge of the world and sharing that knowledge with those around me.

My child has grown, and I am proud of him. The bumps in the road from then to now have been smoothed over by the result of a wise, kind and generous man I see before me, buying his old man a drink at the bar.

But what has happened to this beauty that appeared at the beginning of this vision? Could she have died? Could she still be my wife? Could she and I have drifted apart as lovers yet still remained great friends for the sake of the child that forever binds us? Could she and I, God forbid, be bitter rivals for the attention of our offspring? Who is she? Why haven't I met her yet? Is she the future love of my life, or a fleeting moment? Have I already met her and have been too stupid to realize it? Would I be ready if I met her tomorrow?

Or could it be that this was not a vision, but a simple instance of wishful thinking? Like finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know.