Thursday night drunken rant

Once I got to the bar tonight, I realized that five years ago today, I moved back to Tulsa. Around the end of this month, it will be four years since I first set foot in Arnie's Bar. So, tonight was some cause for celebration.

The band was great as usual. The crowd was different, though. Many people I didn't recognize, and many people I don't usually see at Arnie's on thursday nights. Nevertheless, a good time was had by all. New year's eve girl was there, as was other guy. It wasn't until I got to the bar tonight that I decided to just let it all go. I can't really hold anything against him, because he saw her first, and I can't hold too much against her because she's still young and obviously in a bit of a self-destructive phase. All in all, I think I may have dodged a bullet here.

With that clarity in mind, I think this whole self imposed ban on dating is working wonders for me. I now have a new perception on people because now I don't have to worry about what they think about me. The need to impress people is gone, and I think I'm being more like myself than I have in years. The strange thing is, I feel that people are responding to me differently...more positively than usual.

I wouldn't go so far as to say this is the elusive "square two" that I've been talking about...maybe just square 1 1/2. Like my mother used to tell me when I asked for a new toy: We'll see. We'll see.