Next caller, you're on the air.

I rarely ever express any personal or political objections in my work. Being a dyed-in-the-wool liberal (bleeding heart included) living and working in not just a red state, but the buckle of the Bible Belt, it's just a given that work occasionally comes my way that I just have to grit my teeth and get it over with.

Not to get into too much detail, but it involved typesetting a bio for a guest speaker who is a popular political radio talk show host. The worst part of having to proofread my own work is actually having to READ some of the shit I've been given. I've had to typeset opera programs, bird-watchers' newsletters, tofu cookbooks, annual reports for Chiropractic clinics, church bulletins, etc. Most of these things don't bug me so much as they are just boooooorrrriiiinng. My job? To try to make them look as best as possible.

And ordinarily, the political stuff doesn't bother me. I've done logos and promotional materials for a dozen candidates over the past few years...all of them republicans. I've just enjoyed seeing the look on the client's face when my boss tells them that this design work they love so much was designed by a democrat.

I think the thing that bugs me about this project was the fact that he's a political radio host. He wrote his own bio, which reeks of this "I don't need to explain myself to lowly peasants like you" kind of arrogance. He claims to be a die-hard Libertarian, which in the world of talk radio means he's an equal opportunity asshole. Nothing against the Libertarians, but in this guy's case, he just wants to shit on both sides and not be considered a hipocrite.

Ironic that I would have such a problem with talk radio when my car radio hasn't left NPR in over a year. I think the destinction would be that the folks at NPR never hang up on their callers or tell their guests to shut up when they don't agree with their viewpoints. That, and NPR doesn't start every broadcast with, "Well, the _____-mongers are at it again..."

And it's not just the right-wingers. Even Air America bugs the shit out of me after a while. I find myself thinking, "Gee, two million years of human evolution and stooping to their level is the best you could do?"

In political talk radio, it's not the politics that's so fucking annoying, it's the fact that 90% of the time, they can't be bothered by the rules of civilized debate, proper research, the slightest bit of common courtesy or basic reasoning skills. I, for one, would be relieved to hear at least one of these chowderheads just come out and call his show "I love the sound of my own voice".

"You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." -Michael Douglas in the American President, written by Aaron Sorkin

I can acknowledge their right to free speech, that is, if theirs didn't come with a microphone, coast-to-coast broadcasting capabilities and corporate sponsorship. One could argue that a lot of people like listening to what they have to say. But, like Dennis Miller once said (and I shudder quoting this man since he became a Fox News commentator), "It's the same reason Eskimoes love blubber, it's the only thing on the Arctic buffet!"

I don't mind their constant bitching and moaning about whatever political conspiracy flavor of the minute is floating around in their paranoid little minds if they'd just inform their listeners how to actually DO something about it. Ask them to start a petition drive, register people to vote, or maybe try running for office themselves. Maybe failing at that few times will shut them the hell up. On second thought, Pat Buchanan is still around, so my theory is pretty much worthless.