Remembering a better time when seeing a girl's breasts required a little effort

I read an article that the guy behind the Girls Gone Wild videos has settled a lawsuit over the lack of proper documentation of the "models" in his videos. Turns out a lot of these girls mat have been underage and lied about their age. Gee, you think?

The main reason he settled (for $500,000...mere pocket change for this guy) was that he can't be bothered knowing if an ID might be fake, and apparently his staff can't be bothered either. If the issue is whether these girls might not be 18 yet, why haven't these assholes been charged with providing alcohol to minors?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for nudity and having a little fun, but this stuff just does not arouse me at all. These guys have made millions exploiting girls with low alcohol tolerances and even lower self-esteem, while at the same time perpetuating the viewpoint that all college girls are nothing but horny skanks that'll do anything if you give them enough to drink and maybe offer them a little cash.

I think part of the settlement should have been that they would only be allowed to put out "public service editions":

The Girls Gone Wild 10-Year Reunion - Where they have to track down the girls they have videotaped in the past, years later when they are married, have kids and have worked their asses off to put that whole experience behind them. Either that, or the girls have continued down the path to total skankiness, sucking dick for money to pay the gas bill and might serve as an example for future college girls who are approached by these sleazy scumbags.

Girls Gone Wild Stone Cold Sober - Let's see them try to talk these girls into this without any alcohol involved. I'm thinking the only ones they'll get to go along with this wouldn't qualify for their cherished "First-Timers" category.

Butches Gone Wild - How about one where they only show the most masculine of REAL lesbians. Instead of the naive, drunk straight girls without a complex thought in their pretty little head, they show large, muscular, heavily-tattooed, short-haired women who not only know how what their doing (not just "experimenting"), but also might have something interesting to say to the immature dickhead frat guy with the camcorder about the exploitation of their way of life.

Girls Gone Mild - Filmed in Quaker country. You might just catch a glimpse of an ankle or an elbow!

Girls Gone Wild's Less Attractive But Much More Interesting Friends Caught On Camera - Every group of girls at these parties have that one girl who is not as skinny, not as hot, and is only there to feed some deep-seeded need to be accepted or to be the designated driver. These are the average looking, slightly overweight girls who represent the other 95% of the female population...you know, the ones that actually want to do something with their lives and nine times out of ten, have something special to offer a guy.

Crack Whores Gone Wild - Edited the same way the videos are done now, with the girls being egged on my horn-dog cameramen at a night club and then cutting to a sleazy motel room for the real action. The only difference is, the girls are strung-out, with sunken eyes, eroded yellow teeth, harsh shadows casting on their rib cages, pale skin, nappy hair and that lifeless look on their faces that they've done this kind of thing so many times before for money that they can't even feign interest in it anymore. Kinda like the last half-hour of Requiem For A Dream stretched out into 90 minutes.

Girls That Went Wild Last Night - Filmed the morning after, complete with hangovers, puking and deep regret.

Parental Consent Outtakes - Clips of the camera crew attempting to ask these girls' parents for permission to film their daughters, then getting the shit beat out of them.