So much for opening with a joke...

One of my guilty pleasures in life is a moderately recent invention: The Myspace Survey. I don't know who starts these things, but it's an interesting study into the minds of not only the people filling out the survey, but also the anonymous writer of the questions. My philosophy: What better way to sharpen your sarcasm skills than to tackle absurd questions from a total stranger?

Tonight, it kinda backfired on me. So far, I've gotten two messages in the past hour about my answer to question #7: Have you ever been raped?

Considering that the other 49 questions ranged from threesomes to streaking to porn shops to getting "road head", this one question takes a sharp turn into dangerous territory. My approach was simple: An absurd question deserves an absurd answer...in this case, these eight words seemed to spark some controversy: "No, my parents never took me to church."

It wasn't the first time I've deflected a sensitive subject with crude humor, and certainly wasn't the first time I've resorted to clergy molestation humor. But the complaints were directed at the subject of rape itself, as if I put the damned question on the survey. There is not a single casual or basic clinical situation that this question would be in the top fifty, much less seventh. Seriously, this isn't even a question you get asked until at least the third psychotherapy session.

True, I could've just answered with a simple "no", but I went with a joke. And considering my response to question #34, asking if I've ever been offended by bad personal hygeine "down there" and I used the analogy of a skunk getting a perm, what did I get for that? Nothing.

My point is this: Anything remotely offensive that comes out of my head is strictly to hold a mirror up to the situation and show how idiotic it truly is. I'm reminded of encountering a black guy when I was younger who announced his hatred of white people because of slavery. I told him that in the days of slavery my people were back in Germany and they left there years later because a certain someone was telling them that a different race was inferior to their own...and that if he was gonna hate me, then he should have a better reason than that. If it wasn't for my abnormally quick reflexes at the time, I managed to run away before he pummeled me to a bloody pulp.

...ahhh...I see their point. Next time, I'll go with the easy answer.