Further adventures with my Landlord

Here's a letter I got this morning from my landlord:

"It is brought to our attention that there are some items on the front porch these items need to be moved to the backporch or there will be a $100.00 fine. The above will need to be done by 11/06/06."

I call the number on the letter and the following conversation takes place

LANDLORD: Hi, do you want to rent a house?

ME: Um, no.

LANDLORD: Okay, then.

ME: Yeah, I got this letter telling me to remove the items on my front porch. Tell me, which item do you consider objectionable: The flower pot with the dead jade plant, the empty flower pot or ashtray?

LANDLORD: Okay, you're in the Inez building, aren't you?

ME: Yep.

LANDLORD: Okay, you shouldn't have gotten that letter. That was meant to only go to your upstairs neighbors.

ME: So, I can rest assured that I won't be fined $100?

LANDLORD: Yes.

ME: Forgive me for being cynical, but this is not the first time I've gotten a stern letter from you guys that has turned out to be nothing.

LANDLORD: I'm so sorry about that, sir. If you could please call the office and leave Stacy a voicemail to let her know of this.

ME: Can do! Thank you. Goodbye.

So, I call the office and leave a voicemail for Stacy:

"Hi, this is Dan Fritschie. I live in the Inez building, and I got a letter telling me to move the stuff on my front porch. I have two flower pots and an ashtray. Please don't fine me $100."

Oh, well. This letter will be filed away in my "Evidence against my Landlord" folder. It's so nice that my living arrangements are run through an office that runs with the care and effieiency of an inept temp with a rotten attitude.