Yes, we elected this guy...sorry about that.

In Saturday's Tulsa World, our senator (lack of capitalization intentional) James Inhofe had this to say about recent reports on global warming:

“It kind of reminds . . . I could use the Third Reich, the big lie.”

He also restated (that means he's said this many times before) that the threat of global warming is “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people”. Wanna know the most mind-boggling part of this? This man is the Chairman of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee! He's in charge of determining congressional policy in regards to our environment! Sweet zombie Jesus, I know we don't have any mountains around here, but that doesn't mean the world is flat.

Comparing scientists, and their pesky facts, to Nazis?!? I'm getting so sick of politicians comparing people with opposing viewpoints to the perpetrators of the Holocaust. Now, if every scientist on the planet was calling for everyone who owns a Hummer be put in the gas chamber, they might have a point...but they're not! And to have a senator from a state that has experienced its highest temperatures in decades, whose tornado seasons and droughts have gotten worse with each passing year to say that every reputable scientist in the world is completely full of shit?!? Just thinking about it is is making my right eye twitch uncontrollably.

Sorry to break this to you, Jimmy, but global warming is very real. Glaciers around the world are diminishing, so much so that Greenland is starting to actually live up to its name, so much so that it is believed that Antarctica will be able to sustain plant growth in the next twenty years. Temperatures have risen worldwide so much so that resort hotels built right next to the Dead Sea fifty years ago no longer have a naked eye view of the water today, so much so that DENVER reached triple-digit temperatures last week. You can bury your head in the sand if you want to, but those of us that accept the facts are still gonna remind you that the sand was fertile soil up until a few years ago.

Most arguments I've heard from people like Inhofe who dispute science's prognosis of the environment claim that the biggest threats to our atmosphere are volcanoes and cattle flatus. (Bet you never thought you'd read those two things in the same sentence, huh?) While I can't say there's anything we can do about volcanoes, you know, other than NOT to build houses on them and later wonder why there's magma in the den, I will say this about cows: Who is responsible for there being so many damned cows on the planet? Who has completely bred out any and all of the cow's original evolutionary instincts they need to live on it's own in the wild? Who has clear cut millions of acres of natural forests to make room for grazing land? Who fills them full of corn, oats and hay, giving them the fuel needed to produce the most toxic farts this side of the kraut tent at Oktoberfest? It's MAN, you moron!

I don't know about you, but I've never heard of ozone alert day around a volcano. I've never seen a government issued smog warning over a cattle farm. No, those kinds of things only happen in heavily-populated industrial areas...like most places in America...including Oklahoma, Mr. Inhofe. When I was a little kid, I remember being told that asthma was something you're born with, now it's something an otherwise healthy person can develop when the air around them is polluted. Twenty-two years ago, I remember it snowing during spring break, now you get away with wearing shorts at Thanksgiving. When I was twelve, it would take about an hour for my pasty white skin to crack and peel, now I can get the same effect in half the time.

You know what, go ahead and say what you want about the enviromental movement, senator. Go ahead and believe what you want to believe about global warming. but before you go out and preach against science, realize that you're up against some pretty heavy FACTS here, and in order to convince the people of your convenient truth, the burden of proof lies on you. First, please consider the following:

If a person stays in their closed garage with their car running, it'll kill them. Now, think of all the running cars on the planet, and remember that our atmosphere is, technically, an enclosed space.

If you believe that industry doesn't affect the environment, try living downstream from a chemical factory.

If you don't believe recycling can make a difference, then we'll start tossing our empties on YOUR front yard instead.

How about that, senator, do we have a deal? With great power (even if it's cronyistically appointed power) comes great responsibility. You're responsible for making policies that might actually keep us alive long enough to re-elect your sorry ass. Start acting like it.