15 highly improbable, yet possible and really awkward to have to explain situations

1. Getting the strep virus somewhere other than your throat.

2. Lipstick stains on your socks.

3. Forgetting any holiday if you work for Hallmark.

4. Being a 42 year old single man with a Hello Kitty shower curtain.

5. Someone walking in on you naked on your couch watching Red Dawn with the volume turned all the way up.

6. "I need one adult ticket to Barney's Great Adventure, please."

7. Receiving communion and gagging on the eucharist.

8. A first date finding a reciept from a porno shop between the cushions of your car seat.

9. Possessing an autographed picture of O.J. Simpson with the inscription "Thanks for all your help. Wink, wink."

10. Having ostrich crap on your sneakers.

11. Making a 911 call saying you're stuck in a truck stop men's room cubicle divider.

12. Buying a Michael Bolton box set at a garage sale.

13. Paying for condoms with a gift certificate.

14. Walking out of the woods carrying a bloody shovel and coming across a police department picnic.

15. Posting an ad on Craislist for a "slightly used" package of adult diapers.