Politics as usual

Today was a little bit hectic. I've been heeding my boss' advice about taking my work a little bit slower and in the respect of fewer mistakes, it's been working. However, I still need to work harder on keeping jobs from overlapping, which is just frustrating as hell. I can't seem to make much headway on one job if another job comes in that forces me to stop what I'm doing on the first job. I know I'll figure it out soon enough, but today was not that day.

I got home and made myself a chicken dinner that couldn't be beat (a little something for you Arlo Guthrie fans out there). After dinner, I relaxed a bit before watching the State of the Union speech. Ordinarily, I find myself getting so irate watching Bush try to justify his policies that I just shut off the TV halfway through. Tonight was different. I watched the whole thing. And, to keep myself from tuning it out, I kept a score sheet. During the speech, Bush said the following words this many times (by my count):

September 11th: twice
Al Qaeda: 3 times
Evil: twice
Terror/Terrorist: 17 times
Freedom: 15 times

And for the first time ever in a State of the Union speech, the word BUD was mentioned. Granted, it was a man's name, but you know there were a few people from the pot legalization lobby out there going, "He he, he said 'bud'."

I also noticed Bush's involuntary jaw twitch about twelve times. There may have been more, but the camera wasn't on him the whole time. Does the White House have a neurologist on staff that can check into that? It's getting pretty damned creepy.

All in all, I wasn't impressed. Same shit, different time slot. The message I got from it all was that the President wishes to end the partisan bickering, but still believes that his policies are the only way to go. Thank God for term limits, that's all I got to say.

Woo Hoo

I decided last night around ten that it would be best to take the monitor to the office at night rather than lug it all in in the morning. I got it all set up and as I was cleaning up, I turned around to find my boss standing in the doorway. I was prepared to have to defend my actions, but as I explained the situation to him, all I got was, "Okay." Then he left me alone.

Today was a good day, if not pretty damned good bordering on great. My workload was steady but not heavy, with no major hassles. I called the repair shop about the latest problem with the laptop, and it all boils down to a $40 part and about a hour of labor. I asked if this was a major problem that requires immediate attention, and it's not...as long as I don't mind having to be tethered to a monitor. I figure I'll wait just a little while longer before I drop another couple hundred bucks into this thing. Besides, both the monitor at work and the TV I hook it up to at home are much bigger than the rinky-dink 13' screen on the laptop itself.

Come around 4:00 this afternoon, the good day brought about something that I don't believe has ever happened to me: Unwarranted giddiness. For no real reason, I was just happy as hell. It was a good feeling, and I hope it carries through the next few days.

Delayed feeling of stupid

Well, shit. I thought that the laptop survived the drop with no problems other than the disk drive. That was, until yesterday afternoon, when I went to start it up and the monitor wouldn't come on. Upon closer inspection, the screen was working fine, except for no backlighting.

My boss is gonna flip, so all morning today, I went into hyper-save-my-ass mode. I knew I had a monitor adapter for this thing somewhere, and my roommate had a monitor she wasn't gonna be using. The trouble was, I couldn't find the adapter. After turning the place upside down, cleaning out my car, and a mild freak-out. I reserved myself to the idea that I'd have to go buy a new adapter. Then , I decided to look around one last time, and found it stuck in the back seat in my car.

So, I'm taking the monitor into the office tomorrow, and I'll have to explain to the boss that it's no longer a laptop...it's a portable desktop. For home use, I have an adaptor for the TV.

I'm not hoping for any miracle that could bring back the light on the screen, so I'll have to adjust to this new way of working. My boss won't be pleased, but I'll just explain to him that in a few short weeks, I'll be able to pay the whole thing off and it won't be his problem anymore.

As for me, I'll just see this as a step towards my next computer. When I get my next one, the laptop will go into the clost with my old iMac. I'll just make sure that my next computer will be maxed out on everything, brand-new and stationary. I won't be taking chances of dropping the next one.

Sick puppies

Preparing for an entire night of TV and internet last night, I get a call from my buddy Tony. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him of the TV and the internet. "No, you're not. You are going to the midnight movie at Circle Cinema tonight with Jenny (his wife) and I." Being the pushover, I said okay.

I left the TV on A&E and watched the Biography of Osama bin Laden, the Biography of Al Qaeda, and a report on three people who missed flight 93, the one that crashed in Pennsylvania. Apparently these shows are a ramp-up to a movie they made about flight 93, so this weekend is all about 9/11. Here's a little chunk of irony for you: Mohammad Atta, who flew one of the planes into the World Trade Center and since changed the look of New York City, had a degree in Urban Development.

Around 11:30, I left for the theater. They were playing Harold and Maude, which I hadn't seen in years. So long, in fact, that I had forgotten how great this movie really was. We need more movies liek this nowadays. Leaving the theater, I was itching to go home and watch the Royal Tenenbaums, which I kept thinking would be a perfect companion movie. However, I just went to bed instead.

I had been fighting off a chest cold all week. I've been coughing, but nothing was breaking loose...until this morning. I woke up barely able to breathe. I made myself a hot cup of tea and breathed in the vapors. Within minutes, I had a major coughing fit that lasted over two minutes, left my ribs hurting and, I think, pulled a groin muscle. Looks like I'm laying around the house today. It kinda sucks having the weekend all to myself and I get sick.

The song stuck in my head

Indoor Fireworks by Elvis Costello. Can this guy write a song or what?

We play these parlour games
We play at make believe
When we get to the part where I say that I'm going to leave
Everybody loves a happy ending but we don't even try
We go straight past pretending
To the part where everybody loves to cry

Indoor fireworks
Can still burn your fingers
Indoor fireworks
We swore we were safe as houses
They're not so spectacular
They don't burn up in the sky
But they can dazzle or delight
Or bring a tear
When the smoke gets in your eyes

You were the spice of life
The gin in my vermouth
And though the sparks would fly
I thought our love was fireproof
Sometimes we'd fight in public darling
With very little cause
But different kinds of sparks would fly
When we got on our own behind closed doors

Indoor fireworks
Can still burn your fingers
Indoor fireworks
We swore we were safe as houses
They're not so spectacular
They don't burn up in the sky
But they can dazzle or delight
Or bring a tear
When the smoke gets in your eyes

It's time to tell the truth
These things have to be faced
My fuse is burning out
And all that powder's gone to waste
Don't think for a moment dear that we'll ever be through
I'll build a bonfire of my dreams
And burn a broken effigy of me and you

Indoor fireworks
Can still burn your fingers
Indoor fireworks
We swore we were safe as houses
They're not so spectacular
They don't burn up in the sky
But they can dazzle or delight
Or bring a tear
When the smoke gets in your eyes
When the smoke gets in your eyes
When the smoke gets in your eyes

$187.00 worth of stupid

I got to work this morning and started up all of the computers...only I couldn't get the laptop to start up. I had to make a run to our output bureau, and I took the laptop with me to have their tech guy take a look at it. It turned out that the battery was run out, and the charger was dead. He recommended Radio Shack for a replacement plug. They had one that would plug into an outlet, a cigarette lighter and into a airplane plug...all for $120. Too rich for my blood.

I figured I'd get a better price at the Mac repair shop we normally go to, and that was a good call. A new plug was $35. I paid for it and started to leave

Then I did the stupidest thing I've ever done. I flung my notebook case over my shoulder...forgetting to zip it closed first. The laptop flew about five feet and hit the concrete floor. Good thing I was at a repair shop. The mac tech and I picked up the laptop and carried it like a baby over to the counter. We plugged it in and started it up. Thankfully, it booted up, however, the DVD drive was sticking out about an eighth of an inch, and it was clicking like it was trying to eject.

So, the laptop went in for emergency surgery. In the end, the DVD-ROM drive had to be replaced...it's now just a CD-RW drive, because they didn't have another DVD drive in stock. No biggie, though, I never actually watched DVDs on it anyway. Parts and labor added up to $187.00.

Since the laptop technically belongs to my company (and I'm paying him back for it), I had to plead my case to the big boss. He cut a check for the repairs and this has been added to my tab. The big boss explained the situation to my other boss, and spared me a major foot up my ass moment.

I was lucky I didn't fry out the whole damned thing. But still, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't planning on over $200 worth of repairs. The laptop is rocking again, and I now will forever remember to zip up.

Thursday night drunken rant...delayed

I'm actually writing this on Friday afternoon instead of when I'm half buzzed on Thursday night...I'm still hung over, so it's not a total loss, guys.

I had a little talk with the boss first thing Thursday morning. He told me not to worry about my job so much. He said that I've been going about trying to improve my standing in the wrong way. I've been trying to get my job done too quickly, most often having to backtrack because I made a mistake. He said that even if I worked at half-speed and paid extra attention to every detail, then I would still be running circles around most of the other employees. That was a nice little ego boost, and it was nice to start a new big project with that new philosophy.

When I got home, I began the parade of laziness. Surfing the net, watching CSI reruns on Spike TV, beating my best time on internet Su Doku. For the uninitiated, Su Doku is kinda like crosswords with numbers. Nine squares of nine squares, making nine rows and nine columns. The numbers 1-9 must be used in each row and column and in each square of nine. All the strategy of Tetris with the addictiveness of crack. Someone, PLEASE, get me a social life.

Arnie's was fairly dead. No band, not crowded, just a good night to sit and quietly drink. My friend Heather stopped by and we started a long conversation about politics, religion, etc. About an hour before I left, my roommate called me to tell me that her cat Zac had apparently gotten out when I stepped out for a smoke. He was nowhere in the house, and she walked up and down the street to look for him and couldn't find him. I told her I'd look for him when I got home. I couldn't find him either.

So, I went to bed, promising to let Zac back in if I hear him at the door when he returns. The funny thing is, I found out this morning, he had fallen asleep in her sock drawer...he never even left the house.

Downs, ups, downs

It wasn't the best day to try to make demands at work...or to make requests...or breathe too heavily for that matter. My boss was in one of his moods, and I almost - ALMOST - got in his face about it, but decided not to. Wise decision.

I finally got caught up on my work this afternoon. It felt really good to be able to take a moment to breathe and count to ten. I even got a chance to leave a half-hour early to visit my friends Karen and Nathan at the hospital. Their daughter was born today at 12:42 pm. Interesting note, Baby Lexi was born at a hospital on old Route 66, and she weighed 6 pounds, 6 ounces.

When it was time for the baby to be fed, I was reminded of my steadily dropping blood sugar, so I excused myself to leave. I grabbed a burger at the slowest Braums in the known universe. You know it's a slow drive thru if you can smoke an entire cigarette before you decide you might as well but the car in park for the remaining ten minutes it'll take for the food to be ready. While I commend Braums for their policy of hiring the mentally challenged, but shouldn't they draw a line at the comatose? Every time I go to this one Braums, all of the employees look like there was a gas leak in there. Oh, well, the bacon cheeseburger was good, gas leak or no gas leak.

Then came the most humbling part of the month: paying bills. I am so getting screwed by Consumer Credit Counseling. Four years, and I'm hardly making a dent. I made the mistake of calling my mom and she's now kicking into hyper-problem-solver mode. She's suggesting research into other solutions even when I want to forget about it for the night. I want to get myself on track as soon as possible, but I'm kinda stuck. Bankruptcy laws have made it too difficult for me to just throw myself on the mercy court. I can't get any kind of loan without a better credit rating and I can't get a better credit rating without money that I can't seem to make at this point in my life.

To compound things, all my work on that time machine, so I can go back and beat the crap out of myself for thinking that pre-approval for platinum status was a good thing, have yielded no results. The best I can achieve is going back only a few seconds, just long enough to tell myself that it didn't work, so don't bother.

This whole square two thing is a real bitch, you know?

Thinking a little clearer now

Months ago, a buddy of mine gave me some advice that really made a lot of sense. The advice was originally directed towards a girl that I was starting to like, but the more I thought about it, it really applied to a lot of areas of my life. He said to me, "What's the worst that could happen? You'd end up right back where you started."

I got to thinking about that again today, and all of the things I've been bitching and moaning about the past couple weeks. That little nugget of wisdom is true...a little TOO true.

In regards to my love life, my job, my outlook, etc., that's really the problem. I always end up right where I started. I seem to be bungeed to square one. Isn't it weird that no one ever mentions square two?

Now that I've had this little epiphany, I feel like I'm on a quest to find the elusive square two. Maybe that's just a metaphor for a need to broaden my horizons. It's time for me to try new things...nothing too drastic, just baby steps.

The first step, as best as I can figure, is to learn to stop giving a shit about a lot of things. For so much of my life, the way I've gotten through so many stressful situations is through panic. That way I was never truly disappointed. No matter how bad things got they were never as bad as the worst case scenerio in my head. This period in my life will soon be coming to an end.

The key will be brutal honesty with myself, well-measured tact with others. So much of my life has been - wasted is too strong of a word, consumed may be better - by caving into the priciple of Occam's razor: All things being equal, the simplest solution is always the best one. I've been going for the simple solutions and not neccessarily the RIGHT ones.

It's time for me to do the things I've been too scared to try. Most importantly, not backing down when deep down in my heart I know I'm right. Let's just call it re-focused energy. My current decision to take myself out of the dating game for a while, I believe, is a step in the right direction. If the only women I'm gonna attract have more personal issues than Larry Flynt's bookshelf, then I don't need to be involved.

When it comes to my work, I think that I'm gonna have to make a few demands...namely a crystal clear job description. So many of the mistakes that occur on my watch are usually because I have to stop in the middle and do something completely different. I will be able to do so much more, hell, maybe even lead by example, if I could prioritize everything according to what is actually MY responsibility. Also, under the well-measured tact idea, I need to attempt the impossible: download my boss' brains so that we're all on the same page. This could go either way; I could get a raise or I could get a pink slip. I'll have to tread carefully.

This is phase one...phase two will depend on how well this'll work. What's the worst that could happen? I'd end up right back where I started.

Concerns, illness, commerce and apathy

Well, work wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I credit most of my good fortune to the flu, which has hit my boss like a ton of bricks. The coast isn't exactly clear, though. He's getting better slowly, and he has a long memory. All I can do is continue to do my job and hope and pray that things smooth over. Besides, my horoscope today told me to pick my battles, so I did.

I know that I previously said that I'd be able to survive if I didn't have this job anymore, but it's not something that I really want to have happen. It's sorta like knowing that I'd be able to survive on a desert island, but I'm not planning on playing Cast Away: the Home Game anytime soon.

In other news, my roommate has come down with strep throat. This means I'm gonna have to disinfect tonight. No biggie, I'm not gonna scrub like Silkwood or anything, but I do remember that the toothbrush holder doesn't exactly keep the toothbrushes separated.

Interesting little random fact about the strep virus: There are only two places on the human body that the virus can thrive...the throat and the anus. Not that this has any chance of happening to me, but I do think it's funny that somewhere, someone is suffering from strep butt.

I finally got my order in from T-Shirt Hell. A friend of mine is going in for a c-section on Wednesday and I bought the baby a t-shirt that reads "I can kick your baby's ass". Believe me, that was the least offensive shirt they have on their website...although I was considering getting the "All mommy wanted was a backrub" one.

So now, as my horoscope also told me, I'm staying home tonight. That means 24, CSI: Miami, Daily Show, and sleep. I believe the word many of you are looking for is pathetic.

The door

Working the door at Arnie's is a weird experience. All I do is ask people for three dollars and their ID and after a couple drinks they think I'm their buddy. I kept having to point out to people that I couldn't understand a single word they were saying because I was wearing earplugs. Then I had to explain to them that the earplugs weren't because I didn't like the music, but because I had to stand right in front of the damned amplifier all night.

The single weirdest thing I encountered was a group of three people, two guys and a girl. All of their ID's were labeled "not a license to drive", and I didn't see them get out of a taxi anywhere. One of the guys looked to be around forty, dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt, untucked. The other buy looked around mid-thirties, long hair, scruffy beard, kinda looked like he used the Big Lebowski as a guide to living. The woman was the real prize...probably late twenties, skinny as hell, already drunk and wearing a mini-skirt just short enough for people to wonder if she even bothered wearing underwear or if it was just a thong. Anyway, she spent the first part of the night with the Dude, getting irate with the bartender because they didn't have "tall" shot glasses so she could give the Dude a whisky shot out of her cleavage (which, given that she was barely an A cup, would've been fun to watch just for the sheer logistics of it).

Then the band switched to slower songs, which insprired this woman to want to dance with the older guy. The dance started out rather innocent, but later became a grope and grind. It was kinda like a train wreck...you didn't want to watch, but you couldn't help it. It was nasty and skanky and yet, oddly hyptnotic. when she did a little slide down his leg, I noticed a couple guys off to the side angling their necks trying to get a ruling on the aforementioned underwear issue. They didn't stop dancing until the band stopped playing. At which time, it was my time to go home, where I went right to sleep.

I woke up this morning with a sense of dread. You see, I had a dream that I got fired from my job. No matter how well I do at work, that's always a risk. Given what happened on Friday, I wouldn't be surprised if it did actually happen. So, since waking up this morning, I've been working on survival plans. Hoping for the best, but planning for the worst.

I'm taking a little solace in the idea that I would be alright. It wouldn't be the end of the world. I've survived worse and come through with only a few scratches.

Not much else to say about that, you know? I wouldn't say it was the power of positive thinking as much as the benefits of not thinking so pessimistically.

Untitled

It was a fairly rough week at work and Friday was no exception. There are things happening in the office that are taking certain levels of control out of my hands. Not that my job is getting scaled back at all, it's a technology issue. The new policy is that we're phasing out film output in favor of direct-to-plate for our large 4-color press. We will now only be running film for small corrections for jobs that we've already been using film on. To this end, we're having to farm out our large press files to our output bureau. Printed proofs are costly, so whenever possible we have the output bureau send us PDF's of the final pieces.

Like, I said, it's taking a little getting used to. One job had all of the text showing up in rich black (100% of cyan, magenta, yellow and black) on three out of four pages and just plain black. If it had been rich black on all four pages, we would've been fine, we would've just run the ink that heavy. This one was technically the client's fault. They gave us a file that way, and with a PDF composite proof, there was no way for us to see the problem until we got the plates, however, we can't bill them for it. There went our profit margin on that job.

Another job proved troublesome by the fact that I didn't zoom in close enough on the PDF proof to see that the text was all jagged and bitmapped. I notified the output bureau and told them to only re-output the black plates. They re-ran the whole damned job. Today, my boss called me with yet another problem on the job, which would require yet another plate.

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to Monday morning.

Last night, I wasn't happy. I wasn't good company. And Candy wanted to invite over her new suitor. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem, but I just wasn't in the mood to be around people. So, I left for a few hours. I drove around for a while. I stopped at Borders and picked up a CD (Elvis Costello's King of America) that proved to be one of the worst CDs to listen to when you're the least bit depressed. It's a great CD, but not under these circumstances.

I considered going to see a movie. I was considering Brokeback Mountain, just to see what the buzz was all about, but then I remembered working at that movie theater and knowing what goes on in the back of those theaters on Friday and Saturday night regardless of the movie (I had to clean up a used condom after a showing of SHREK of all movies), PLUS the subject matter of that particular movie...and seeing the movie alone...all that combined together and made me reconsider. Not that I'm completely secure in my sexuality, it just that I get unnerved when people just TALK in the theater. So, I just drove around for most of the night.

Given the chance that Candy's date would be going well, I stayed out until about midnight and called before I headed home. They had both fallen asleep by ten, so the last two hours of driving were for nothing.

Today I feel better. Still not in full social mode, but maybe having to work the door at Arnie's tonight will remedy that.

Friday night refinement

Another trend on the blog: Re-reading what I drunkenly wrote Thursday night and refining it with a sober mind.

I love my friends, don't get me wrong. They think I'm a really great guy who deserves any and all happiness in the world. To that end, almost every one of them is trying to hook me up with a date, and they're not gonna let a little thing like nothing in common get in the way.

I've given it a lot of thought today, and I'm gonna take myself out of dating circulation for a while. Here's why:

1. I'm still living with my ex-girlfriend, sleeping on a twin sized bed in a room that faintly smells of cat urine...not exactly chick magnet material. Why don't I just find my own place? Because rent is cheap, my ex and I are on great terms, and I'm flat broke. All of these things have become a symbiont circle Anything I do at this juncture to change any of them would throw the others into complete upheaval. If I move, I'll be even more broke, the bed belongs to Candy, so I won't have a place to sleep...see where this is going?

2. While I don't blame the women who've come into my life in recent years, I do have to concede that they are symptoms of a much larger problem with me. I understand that women want to be pursued. I've just gotten fed up with having to chase what never wants to get caught. I'm 29 years old, for fuck's sake. At this point in my life, this should be a game of tag, not cross-country hide and seek.

3. In light of recent events, I am so fucking confused about what exactly I'm looking for that if Ms. Right crossed my path at this very moment, I wouldn't even know it.

4. If there's any truth to the idea that true love comes when you're not looking for it, so be it.

5. Many people have told me that all I need is to get laid. However, I'm just not built for casual sex. It is a hollow, meaningless waste of my time if I don't have some sort of emotional and/or intellectual connection to a woman. It's a catch-22. I can't have one without the other, so I'll have to go with neither.

So fuck you, universe! I'm not happy with the rules of the game, and I'm taking my place on the bench until the ref rules in my favor. You'd think this would be a tough decision, but it's really not. And from what I've gone through in the past few months, I have a feeling I'm not breaking a lot of hearts over this.

Drunk words, sober thoughts

I spy a trend coming on here. Since I head down to Arnie's Bar every Thursday night, and pretty much every time I go to Arnie's I'm pretty much coming home half-buzzed...and when I decide to post on the blog after a night of drinking, I tend to say things that I normally wouldn't talk about because I really don't give a shit what people think. So, any of you out there that visit the site regularly could have a nice little treat on Friday morning. Here it goes.

I knew New Year's Eve Girl was gonna be down at Arnie's tonight, and I knew that Other Guy was gonna be there with her. For reasons beyond all logic, I went down to the bar early. It took a while for my friends to show up, so I pretty much had no one to commiserate with. Not that it was all that bad being around those two, but my skin was crawling nonetheless.

A few drinks helped a bit. The band was great as usual, but between sets was a Bud Light-sponsored Rock Paper Scissors tournament. Sounds weird, huh? What was even weirder was that it was co-sponsored by A&E Network. A bunch of us signed up, and I made it to the second round, as did many of my friends. My second time up, I got paired up with Colleen, my friend and ex-fiancee. It was great entertainment for the crowd to watch two people who've known each other close to ten years match wits in a child's game. We tied about twenty times before she eventualy beat me. Rock beats scissors...shit.

I drank a bit more and managed to forget both defeats to some extent. I left the bar and drove home, all the while listening to a mix CD I made for myself. Normally, I either sing along or drum along to the song, but this time I just listened and thought about the New Year's Girl fiasco. The song was "My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer. The lyrics are as follows:

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon

We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just slipped out and what went wrong

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

Words to live by, I guess.

Stupid stupid stupid

On my way to work this morning I was hungry, thirsty and out of smokes, so I stopped in to the one place I go for my junk food, tasty beverage and cancer stick needs: QuikTrip.

It was fairly busy there this morning, enough to warrant all four registers being manned at once. I got my chicken biscuit and my green tea and got in line. A dark haired, middle aged woman was in line in front of me, and as she got to the register, she recognized the blue haired woman in the next line as someone she knew...and apparently hadn't seen in a long time, because she proceeded to gab it up with this woman for a couple minutes before the clerk attempted to complete the transaction.

Wouldn't you know it, the woman forgot what she wanted, and took several seconds trying to remember. Then she pulled out a short stack of scratch-off tickets. She needed to redeem a few free tickets, and insisted to do them one at a time. Then, she waffled on whether to buy more tickets.

Everyone in the line behind her, myself included, had the same reaction: Shoulders droop, heavy sigh, eyebrows up, and trying to burn a hole in the back of her head with our stares. Meanwhile, two of the other clerks decided to go on break, causing a logjam of people in the line.

And you'd think she'd just take her tickets and go, right? NO! She grabs one of the coins out of the leave-a-penny tray and starts scratching away. One of her new tickets was obviously a winner by the high pitched "OOOOH!" she let out. When she tore the ticket away from the others, that's when I had to intervene.

I used to lose my patience in public very quickly. I've yelled at total strangers for talking in movie theaters, special-ordering food for twenty people in the drive-thru line, parking lot vultures, etc. I've calmed down a bit in recent years, though. Nowadays, I let people get away with at least three stupid things in a row before I lose it. The way I figure it, one could be an honest mistake. The second one could be a just be an aftershock, like hitting your hand on the car door after you lock the keys inside. Three mistakes in a row...in my book, that means you're too stupid to live.

However, being in a fairly merciful mood, I simply tapped the woman on the shoulder, and pointed out the people in line behind us, who by this point consisted of about fifteen people, and all of them wanted her head on a platter. She looked at them, then me, then the clerk, and then it hit her just how much she was pissing off a bunch of total strangers. Total strangers who could very well be carrying some kind of concealed weapon. Grabbing the rest of her tickets, she said, "I'll just scratch the rest of these in the car." Then she left.

I got to the counter and paid for my food, drink and smokes with exact change, and the clerk almost hugged me.

Strange Karma

I was complimented on my organizational skills today by my bosses. The irony is that my desk was completely covered in random paperwork. The Franklin planner I picked up has proven to actually work. I may have had to adapt some of the shorthand to the way I do my work, but it has yeilded positive results. My projects are going by a lot faster and with fewer mistakes. Hooray, me!

Other people in the office, that's another matter. Having been at this job for a few years, I've gotten used to my boss' mood swings. Our receptionist got yelled at today and for the rest of the day we had to deal with her woe-is-me bullshit. The strange thing is that she is usually the first person to tell me to suck it up when this crap happens to me. I'm not, in general, a vindictive person, but I can't wait for the moment I can throw this back in her face.

I'm prepared for the mood to be a little bit hectic for the rest of the week. The big boss is off to Vegas for the Miss America Pageant (he works with the Miss Oklahoma Pageant) and I'll have to be ready at a moment's notice to cater to his teleconferencing whims. On the other hand, I asked him to place a bet on my lucky number in roulette. The chance of winning $175 could offset my stress a bit.

All in all...I'm on a bit of a high. I think I'll treat myself to a overpriced coffee at Borders tonight.

Good food

I am kicking myself for missing the season premiere of 24 last night. I had thought that they were gonna start it tonight. Instead, I'm two episodes behind. And from what I've found on the internet, I missed one hell of a show. The little "Previously on 24" summary at the beginning of the episode tonight didn't tell me jack shit.

Now for a change of subject: While my current state of mind isn't a full-blown depression, some comfort food was in order tonight. For everyone out there who likes to medicate yourself with food, I have found the first step to recovery. All you have to do is only eat food that takes a really long time to prepare. For me, tonight, it was baked chicken.

It works. Rather than focus your energy into shoveling an entire pint of Cherry Garcia into your mouth, redirect it towards whether or not the glaze is carmelizing properly. Take sample tastes from time to time to make sure that by the time the food is ready, you're no longer hungry. Maybe this is a sign that I really need to turn off the Food Network.

So, the chicken came out perfect, my TV show totally kicking ass, and now, I'm feeling pretty good. Now, what to do with the leftovers.

Refinement on previous post

Today, I did a little soul searching and reflection on the relationships and near-relationships I've had in my life. I've run a wide gamut. In order I have been:

1. An alibi
2. A "maybe someday"
3. An exit strategy
4. Misunderstood
5. A fuck buddy
6. Someone to blame
7. Rebuilder of self-esteem
8. Consolation prize
9. Icing on the cake
10. Good friend
11. No frickin' clue what's going on

Not on that list was what I think I've deserved all along: A good, loving man who is wanted AND needed, not one or the other.

Pretty much screwed

Okay, I'm writing this while I'm still half-buzzed from a night out at Arnie's, so anything I say will probably have to be retracted if the situation arises.

The difference between a hypothesis and a theory is that a theory has at least some evidence to support it. Given my somewhat pessimistic nature, I've always believed that I am cursed when it comes to relationships. However, enough evidence has presented itself in recent years for this to become a full-fledged theory. Further proof will be needed before it becomes bonafide fact.

By cursed, I mean the trend of women having feelings for me without me knowing, only to show otherwise the moment I start to show interest. Let's look at the track record thus far:

Case Study #1: Three years ago, I start having a little fling with a friend of a friend. Fuck buddies would be the best way to describe it. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and was gonna be moving away in a few months, so we were just having a little fun and that was it. Little did I know, my friend that hooked the two of us up was kinda getting jealous of her. I had found out through her roommate that she had been fantasizing about me quite heavily. So, one night, saying goodbye to my friend after having dinner at her house and giving her a hug, my hand lingered on her lower back too long and BOOM! We start making out quite heavily. This led to several weeks of half-way dating and spending the majority of our time together in bed. However, that all started to change the moment that I expressed my feelings for her...let's just say it wasn't exactly requited. Her ex-husband announcing his displeasure over the matter of the two of us together didn't help matters much, either.

Case Study #2: Another girl I was dating/sleeping with really freaked out over what I thought was the direction our relationship was heading. Of course, I wasn't professing undying love or anything, but that didn't stop her from freaking the fuck out and ending it all a few days later.

Case Study #3: Tonight. I text message the girl from New Year's Eve, checking to see if she was working tonight, which she was. I stop by the store and talk to her for a few minutes. I tell her I was gonna go down to Arnie's to see the Electric Rag Band. She said she might stop by. In my mind, I was putting emphasis on the word MIGHT and really didn't get my hopes up. Later, she did indeed come down to the bar. Unfortunately, the OTHER GUY from New Year's ended up monopolizing all of her time while she was there. The only chance I got to talk to her was as she was leaving, with other guy no more than six inches behind her the whole time.

What the fuck is it about me? Was I a real asshole in a past life and I'm paying for it now? Why is it that any girl I like always has to come with some sort of a catch?

My friends tell me I need to be a little more of an asshole if that's what these women seem to be attracted to. The trouble with that is that I know the moment I do that will be the exact moment these women start to become attracted to the nice guy. I'm screwed either way...or rather say not getting screwed either way.

Seriously, is being a nice guy really that much of a liability these days?

Fantasy heartbreak

I just read a report that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's child.

(sob, choke, sob) She's never gonna leave him like she keeps telling me she is...this is the Gwen Stefani situation all over again.

So bored

One employee out sick, one at a funeral, one out to lunch and both bosses gone out to meetings. I'm alone in the office and the phone isn't ringing. I'm caught up on my work and I don't know what to do with myself.

A few years ago, this state of nothing-to-do would be sheer heaven. But somehow, I've developed a work ethic that requires me to be in fourth gear any time I'm on the clock. Any goofing off tends to make me feel guilty. Even posting on my blog is making me a bit paranoid.

What do I have to worry about? My boss doesn't really care about internet usage at work as long as the work is done. Besides, any problems he can have with recreational activities would be a bit hypocritical. He can't complain about aht web sites I check out because come closing time we hear hysterical laughter coming from his office over the latest girls on trampoline or random guy getting hit in the nuts video he just downloaded. We don't drug test our employees because my boss, in his youth, had tried/done/sold every mind-altering substance known to man. To hear stories of his teenage years, one wonders how he's still alive and NOT in a prison cell.

This is how our business works sometimes. Everything comes in waves. Last week was a tsumani, today is a ripple, and I'm just sitting on my surfboard in the water waiting for the waves to pick up.

Oh, well...I guess I'll find something more constructive to do.

More later.

This makes me look much more sane by contrast

Want some freaky fun? Hit NEXT BLOG in the upper right corner, and check out where it takes you. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I'll spend hours checking out other blogs. It's amazing to me how many Japanese Anime fans there are in Australia, or how many goth chicks out there like Hello Kitty, or how many people post the weirdest, most personal shit on such a huge venue as the internet and have it accessible to everyone. Case in point, this.

I'll be the first to admit, I have a LOT of things going through my mind about a LOT of people. And even though I'm really into this blogging thing, I would never say things like this lady is saying. The backstory is a little confusing, but the sheer insanity is worth it!

Well, crap

Good News: I got my W-2 today, so I can file my taxes super-early.

Bad News: I made $800 less this year than last year.

Good News: I got my federal taxes filed no problem.

Bad News: The State of Oklahoma won't let me file until the 23rd.

Good News: I can get my federal refund in about eight days.

Bad News: It was less than half of last year.

Good News: In an attempt to cheer myself up, I made a kick-ass steak for dinner.

Bad News: Now I gotta figure some stuff out.

I was expecting to get at least enough to pay off my laptop and check into some serious credit counseling. Now, it looks like I'll have to either do one or the other or split the difference. This sucks.

I'm kinda glad I got a raise last year, because I've apparently gotten so good at my job that I'm pulling less overtime. The time may have come for me to consider additional employment. I guess this will be a belated new year's resolution. Let me set some ground rules first:

1. Somewhere that I'm somewhat close to the average age of the rest of the employees. This means no teenage hangouts, no fast food, no movie theaters, etc.

2. Something that will not interfere or present a conflict of interest with my current job.

3. Nothing that will drain me of too much energy.

Well, I'm up to a challenge. The search begins.

Where I stand

Here's a quick list of where I stand:

1. 29 years old
2. In debt up to my waist (down from my eyeballs four years ago)
3. No girlfriend (but I'm working on it)
4. Liberal
5. Employed (for the time being)
6. I drive a Ford Focus (ironic since I have ADD)
7. Lots of Friends
8. I live two hours away from my nearest family member (and fairly thankful for it)
9. Moderately happy with my station in life
10. Too lazy to think up a real post

So, did Jesus clean himself with his tongue also?

Yesterday, I was still stewing over getting my boss' foot up my ass on Thursday. By the time closing time rolled around, I was caught up on my work, leaving very little for the boss to complain about even though that didn't stop him from doing it anyway. So I left, not to be back anytime before Monday morning.

I went to see Chronicles of Narnia Friday night. I vaguely remember reading the book when I was a kid, and I've always regarded it as the poor man's Lord of the Rings. The movie was very well done, but it wasn't what I consider a great movie.

I generally don't mind films and books that borrow from specific mythologies, however I do ask that the author/filmmakers at least try to be subtle about it. I lost so much faith in George Lucas the moment he pulled that virgin birth crap in Episode I. I was willing to forgive the flaws in the Matrix until I saw the sequels, when the whole thing turned into Eastern Philosophy For Dummies.

For Narnia, I blame the marketers of the movie. By targeting the church crowd, offering pastors information packets so they can tie in the movie into their sermons, offering church groups free or discounted screenings, etc., I'm surprised the tagline for the movie wasn't "By the way, the lion is supposed to be Jesus."

Maybe I'm just getting burned out on fantasy films. Looking back on it, I think Lord of the RIngs may have been the high water mark. King Kong had a little of that same magic, but it wasn't the same. Neither was Narnia. While I'm glad that the technology has advanced so much that these classic stories can have new life in film, I think we're starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Then again, I'm still pretty psyched about the DaVinci Code and Sin City 2 (the latter opens a day after my 30th birthday).

I can't be too critical about it, seeing as it is primarily a kid's movie. However, I've noticed in recent years just how homogenized family entertainment has become. You know who I miss so much in times like this? Jim Henson. I recall films like the Muppet Movie, Labrynth, Dark Crystal...films with enough eye candy to capture the kids' imaginations while at the same time putting enough in there for the adults to make them want to buy it on DVD and actually want to watch it themselves instead of just let it babysit the kids for a couple hours.

Shit, this is the fan...fan, this is shit

A couple weeks ago, one guy at work quit his job. He got a new job, and just decided to not tell us, not call in, not show up. Yesterday, he came in to pick up his last check, which amounted to around $63.00.

For reasons that are beyond me, instead of just picking up the check and leaving, this idiot decided he needed to talk to my boss about what happened. This quickly escalated to shouting and cursing on both sides. He kept telling my boss how horrible it was to work for him (it can be). My boss got right back in his face telling him about how horrible of a worker he was (which is true). Just when I thought it was reaching the climax in the form of my boss telling him to get the fuck out, this guy pulls the biggest bonehead move in end-of-employment history. He says, "No, I gotta go say 'Hi' to Aaron in the back first."

The next part of the argument I didn't see. Like everyone else in the front office, we were finding our hiding places, because we all knew the boss was gonna take it out on the first person that crossed his path. Ten minutes later, when I thought the coast was clear, I went for a cup of coffee. My boss spotted me, and he was so mad that he could only speak in fractured sentances. He pointed at me and said, "You...office...now." while indicating his office door by shaking his sweaty brow in its general direction.

I went into his office, sat down, and thought to myself, "I should really take some painkillers now, or at least lube up for the foot that's about to be broken off in my ass." The boss came in and closed the door. He told me that a client had complained about me, saying I was short with her on the phone and was very unprofessional. He told me that he doesn't want to fire me, but if I keep it up at this pace, he'll have no choice.

Having worked for this man for four and a half years, I've learned to not get defensive, not offer excuses, and not try to call him on his bullshit. I sat there and took it like a man. I bit my tongue. I nodded in agreement. I half-assed apologized. What I wanted to tell him was that I wasn't "short" with the client. I was in a time crunch, and I merely offered her some quick solutions, interrupting what would become a half hour stream of "Oh, I don't know...it just doesn't look right...would it be too much trouble to..." I cut to the chase. I know that she pays her bills on time. I know she brings us a steady stream of work. I also know she is a hyperactive, wishy-washy, micro-managing moron when it comes to the promotion of her business.

My boss told me that I was to have her job finished up, approved and ready to print by noon today. I was to take the proof to her, accompanied by the president of the company, and I was to apologize to her for my behavior. My internalized anger was reaching a crisis point. Once I got out of his office, I immediately stepped outside for a smoke before the heat building up in my ears caught my hair on fire.

I got the project to a stopping point, because I had a date last night. The key word in that sentence being "had". She and I were text messaging earlier in the day arranging what time to meet for dinner and what not. At 4:50, she texts me saying she was sorry, that she wanted to know if we could get to know each other a little better before we go out on a date. Isn't that the point of a date? Although, given the reaming I got by the boss, maybe I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be all too charming. I wrote her back suggesting that we meet for drinks instead and just talk...Not a date, just a talk. She agreed.

I call a friend to see if anything was going on before we all meet up at Arnie's. Turns out there was a going-away party for this girl we all know, and it was at the same time and restaurant that I was supposed to be having my date. And since I had my heart set on sushi, that's where I went.

I was still stewing over what my boss told me, and my friend kept asking me if I was upset about the cancelled date. I wasn't really, but I started my usual Thursday night drinking early nonetheless. By the time we were at the bar, and my almost date showed up, I was pretty buzzed. She had several drunk guys trying to get her attention and it was kinda difficult to get a moment alone to talk.

Later, I was walking my friend Kelly to her car, and while in the parking lot, my almost date was walking out with her friend and they were going around the corner to the porn shop for her friend to buy some supplies (for lack of a better term) for the weekend. Is it weird that the first chance I get that night to talk to this woman was when we were wandering through the adult video section at the Midtown Theater? I'm trying to be honest and charming, but I look at her and immediately notice a copy of "More Cushion for the Pushin' Volume 8" is on the shelf right behind her. I can't imagine what she thought as I looked her in the eyes, flash her a smile, then went into my what-the-hell? look.

I called it a night a little after midnight, because I had a full day of eating humble pie ahead of me.

I get the proof ready for the client, me and the big boss head down to meet with her. Halfway through the meeting she apologizes for being such a pain-in-the-ass yesterday. She went on to say that she talked to my boss and mentioned how stressed I must've been. I accepted her apology, got the proof approved, left and went about my business. Turns out my boss only heard what he wanted to hear in his conversation with her. He threatened to fire me for no good reason. I didn't throw it back in his face. I decided to be the bigger man about it...

...However, I did call him a fuck-face under my breath whenever he left the room.

So now, I have the entire weekend to forget that I work there. First step, meet my friends at the movie theater and see the Chronicles of Narnia.

Not according to plan

I had three priorities for the day, and I was only able to devote about thirty minutes to them. None of them got done. I couldn't work late tonight because I had a date. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Why? Because I had to set up artwork for a billboard. Had it been just text, a logo and a solid colored background, it'd take me thirty minutes. Unfortunately, the client wanted to use a photo in the background, and with his instructions I had to do it in Photoshop. The client told me the specs from the sign makers said it needed to be 1440 dpi. 8' X 4' at 1440 dpi would make the file over 5 gigabytes. Turns out I could get away with 200 dpi, which made it just small enough to fit on a CD. Bad news is it took 45 minutes to save the file each time.

I got it all put together and burned to CD for the client just before he showed up. He took one look at the color printout and said, "Oh, I was afraid of this. I gave you the wrong number." This was 4:30. So, in thirty minutes, I had to change 888 to 800, save the file and burn a new CD. Resetting the type would take too long, so I used the clone tool to sample a 0 from elsewhere in the document, It saved in 15 minutes (thank God) and burned in ten.

However, my date sent me a text message saying dhe had a family thing come up, and wanted to reschedule for tomorrow night. No biggie. I was too stressed out to fully decompress before the date anyway. And I was too burned out to pull overtime. So, I'm at home, alone, and catching up on my TV shows.

The Word

Today, I began my new year's resolution to join the cult of the Franklin planner. It takes a little getting used to, because in order to get in the habit of marking everything down means you have to mark EVERYTHING down. Even daily rituals that don't require a reminder have to get written in the schedule. I'm drawing the line when it comes to smoke breaks and bowel movements, even though I'm pretty sure they ask you to jot those down. It's a lot like being in a life-long meeting and you're required to record the minutes.

This all sounds pretty ridiculous when you walk into work to find a light workload. For me, this means tackling the really big projects that are coming up on us, even though a job ticket has yet to be written for it. This means lighting fires under the asses of my bosses to get me said work order, and dealing with the clients, which in these cases are about a couple dumb questions away from being deemed completely clueless. Can we get a full-color 8-page catalog insert to you by next Tuesday? Yes. Even though you don't know exactly what you want in the catalog? Maybe. And I won't know until the end of the week? Improbable bordering on impossible.

Meanwhile, our other artist got to surf the net all day, doing further personal research into bible scriptures...even though she has two separate kinds of bibles on her desk. One of which is called the Amplified Bible, which begs a smartass like me to scream, "IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH!!!"

I can't help but respect her level of faith, though. I grew up way to cynical to believe like that. You see, I am the son of an escaped Baptist and a recovering Catholic. Go ahead, try and convert me. I do believe in God. Hey, man could not create something like Double-Stuf Oreos without divine intervention. But I cannot consider myself a Christian.

I believe that Jesus Christ did exist, however I cannot accept the idea of the son of God when the first written record of the man was centuries after his death. I believe he was a great man who wanted to change the way people treated one another, but I cannot buy the miracles when the stories had been passed down for generations before being written down.

But here's my real beef with the Bible:

1. How can it be considered the one true word of God, when there's the Koran, the Torah, the Communist Manifesto, Dianetics...hell, you could turn the Cat in the Hat into a religion if you had enough people put blind faith behind it.

2. I just don't understand how one man can read the Bible and want to live a peaceful and harmonious life with his fellow man, while another man can read the exact same words and say, "See? This is why gays and Jews are evil and must die!"

I think George Carlin said it best, "Religion is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it to walk straight, fine. But don't ask me to wear your shoes if I don't want to, and please don't go nailing lifts to the native's feet."

New Year's Fallout

I got an email from Other Guy today, wherein he apologized for overreacting and explained his side of the situation. I wrote him back telling him I was finding out about all this stuff after the fact, and that had I known, I would've done things a bit differently (though I really couldn't make any promises to that effect). He seemed to offer a no-hard-feelings olive branch, but I have a sneaking suspicion this might just end up being a General Hospital-type cliffhanger towards more drama down the road. However, this will not sway me from my present course.

I'm gonna try to take her out to dinner sometime this week. She and I were probably gonna do something tonight, but she text messaged me letting me know she had to go help out a friend tonight. No biggie, I've got some stuff to tend to at the house.

Currently, I'm freeing up some space on my MP3 player. It's got 15 GB capacity, and I've been running with about 300 MB free space for the good part of the last year. Tonight, I backed up everything I knew I wasn't gonna be listening to anytime in the near future. Over 4 GB of one-hit-wonders, single songs, and stuff I only kept around in case someone complained about what I was playing..."Oh, not a big fan of Coldplay, huh? How about the theme from the Fall Guy over and over again?"

This afternoon, I was suffering from cabin fever, so I went to catch a flick. My buddy Nate came through town on Friday, and he highly recommended Munich, so that was what I went to see. Not exactly the feel-good movie of the season, but it is one of the most powerful films I've seen in years. I've heard about a lot of the controversy surrounding the film, from both sides of the Palestinian/Isreali conflict pissed off that the film portrays their enemies in a sympathetic light. I seriously think they're missing the point. The point of the film is an eye for an eye only makes the whole world go blind. It's a powerful message in these times, where we as a society we are torn over our feelings about the war. The film demonstrates that no matter how justified you think you are in bringing violence towards your enemies, it only brings more violence...that if you cut the head off the monster, a meaner, nastier head will appear in it's place.

One of the film's flaws, and I understand there's no way to fix this without being preachy as hell, but it really offers no solutions, only the consequences for shooting first and asking questions later. Oh, how I wish that in this new year, we can come at least a step closer to figuring it all out and a step away from blowing each other to smithereens.

How to talk to a woman after a fairly bizarre New Year's Eve

There's this girl...a really great girl. It was New Year's Eve at Arnie's. From the time I arrived there last night I was wondering how I would possibly make my move for a kiss at midnight. By the time the countdown started, I still hadn't figured out how I was gonna do this.

Complication #1: I volunteered to help out the bartenders pass out champagne in time for midnight. Handing free booze to a group like this was no easy task. As many times as I reminded these poeple to hold onto their champagne for midnight, I ended up handing out refills to at least 25% of the people in the bar. In the end, I walked around with a full bottle and made sure everyone was topped off. I kept the last of the bottle for myself. This whole task kept me away from the table (and the girl) for over 45 minutes.

Midnight came and went, and the only kiss I got was one on the cheek by a this one guy deep in the I-love-you-man stage of drunk and really needed to shave. In an act of mild desperation, I mentioned to the group at the table how sad it was that that was my only kiss. I got a couple more kisses on the cheek by a couple women at the table. Better, but the one I wanted to get a kiss from the one I really wanted one from.

A little past 12:30 I went for broke. I whispered in this woman's ear that I was gonna step outside for a smoke and asked her if she'd like to join me. She said yes. He he he...

I decided to go with honesty. I told her that I've been wanting to ask her for a midnight kiss all night, and I know the moment had past, but was wondering if I could get a belated one. She blushed and said okay.

The initial kiss was brief, leaving us both to look at each other and say at the same time, "We can do better than that." The next kiss was a little more enthusiastic, but we were both convinced that practice makes perfect. The third kiss was...was...beyond description, and led to two or three more. Um, wow.

We tended to break it up as people came out of the bar and waiting for the coast to be clear to go at it again. We decided to stop when a larger group of people left the bar. Then out came the dude that gave me that kiss on the cheek at midnight. He saw me and this girl together, and we were quick to say we were just talking.

Complication #2: A little side note about this guy...Let's call him Other Guy. I see him all the time at the bar, and in the year or so that I've seen him there, I have yet to see him anything close to sober. The trouble is, apparently, he's had a huge crush on this girl for a while, and according to my friends, she's had a crush on me for a while (Cue melodramatic organ music). He seemed a bit upset, but fortunately, it wasn't because of this little triangle. As far as we knew, he didn't suspect a thing.

The rest of the night played out rather drama-free. I talked to this girl off and on until last call. She was planning to go to an after-party at this other girl's apartment, a girl whom I dated briefly a couple years ago and I had no desire of going over there (I've been in her apartment before, at the very least I was risking a staph infection).

At the end of the night (for me at least), we exchanged numbers and she walked me to my car, where we made out some more. After a while, Other Guy came around the corner and saw us kissing. We tried to play it off, but he knew what was going on. Still drunk off his ass, he went back inside and got his keys (telling the person holding on to them that he was just getting something out of his car), and proceeded to peel out of the parking lot and drive off. I should have stopped him. He was waaaay to drunk to drive.

We said our goodbyes and she said she was gonna go to the after-party and see if Other Guy made it there safe. I told her to call me if there was any trouble, or if she wanted to talk, or...just call me regardless because I really didn't want to stop talking to her.

I got home and Candy had already gone to bed. She came out to talk to me and tell me about how bad her evening was. The guy she has half-way been seeing pretty much blew her off, and she was very upset. I'm talking tears here. When she and I were together, I never saw her in tears...not even during the break-up. I consoled her, saying she can do a lot better, all the while amazed at how weird it is that she and I can talk about things like this and have it NOT be weird.

So, I step outside to call the girl and see if everything was okay. I wound up leaving a message. I stayed up a while and surfed the internet, crashing around 4:30.

The girl was working today, and I had told her I'd stop by for a coffee and see her. I ran into my friend Kelly, who works with her and I asked her to help me find a book called "How to talk to a woman after a fairly bizarre New Year's Eve"...I can't recall the author.

She said the girl's been waiting fo me all afternoon, and had borrowed some hair products to look pretty for me (damn, she knows how to flatter me). She was running inventory in the DVD section and didn't see me looking at the new releases. I approached her and grabbed the closest DVD I could find by her and opened the conversation with "Oooh, the Elvis comeback special!"

We talked for a few minutes, mostly shuffling our feet and blushing. She found Other Guy and he was being a bit of a dick about the situation, telling her that maybe they shouldn't even try to be friends. I'm so not looking forward to the et-tu-brute shit I'm thinking he's gonna try to pull next time he sees me.

We ended the conversation so she could get back to work, but she told me to call her later tonight. She get's off at ten, which means I have three hours and 52 minutes to go. He he he...