Thinking a little clearer now

Months ago, a buddy of mine gave me some advice that really made a lot of sense. The advice was originally directed towards a girl that I was starting to like, but the more I thought about it, it really applied to a lot of areas of my life. He said to me, "What's the worst that could happen? You'd end up right back where you started."

I got to thinking about that again today, and all of the things I've been bitching and moaning about the past couple weeks. That little nugget of wisdom is true...a little TOO true.

In regards to my love life, my job, my outlook, etc., that's really the problem. I always end up right where I started. I seem to be bungeed to square one. Isn't it weird that no one ever mentions square two?

Now that I've had this little epiphany, I feel like I'm on a quest to find the elusive square two. Maybe that's just a metaphor for a need to broaden my horizons. It's time for me to try new things...nothing too drastic, just baby steps.

The first step, as best as I can figure, is to learn to stop giving a shit about a lot of things. For so much of my life, the way I've gotten through so many stressful situations is through panic. That way I was never truly disappointed. No matter how bad things got they were never as bad as the worst case scenerio in my head. This period in my life will soon be coming to an end.

The key will be brutal honesty with myself, well-measured tact with others. So much of my life has been - wasted is too strong of a word, consumed may be better - by caving into the priciple of Occam's razor: All things being equal, the simplest solution is always the best one. I've been going for the simple solutions and not neccessarily the RIGHT ones.

It's time for me to do the things I've been too scared to try. Most importantly, not backing down when deep down in my heart I know I'm right. Let's just call it re-focused energy. My current decision to take myself out of the dating game for a while, I believe, is a step in the right direction. If the only women I'm gonna attract have more personal issues than Larry Flynt's bookshelf, then I don't need to be involved.

When it comes to my work, I think that I'm gonna have to make a few demands...namely a crystal clear job description. So many of the mistakes that occur on my watch are usually because I have to stop in the middle and do something completely different. I will be able to do so much more, hell, maybe even lead by example, if I could prioritize everything according to what is actually MY responsibility. Also, under the well-measured tact idea, I need to attempt the impossible: download my boss' brains so that we're all on the same page. This could go either way; I could get a raise or I could get a pink slip. I'll have to tread carefully.

This is phase one...phase two will depend on how well this'll work. What's the worst that could happen? I'd end up right back where I started.