Peter Parker lucked the fuck out

I'm typing this post with one hand. Okay, keep your gutter-minded comment to yourself on that one. The reason my other hand is indisposed at the moment is because...

I get home from a stressful day at work and decide to relax on the couch for a bit.sonn after. I feel something crawling around on the back of my neck. I reach back with my left hand and HOLY LIVING FUCK! It feels like a white hot rusty knife dipped in lemon juice and salt just cut off the tip of my finger!

At least, that was my initial thought. Turns out, it was a spider bite right in the last knuckle of my middle finger. I didn't see the spider, but I know it wasn't a wasp or a bee since I'm allergic and I wasn't, you know, DEAD!

I call home to ask my mother for some first aid advice. Make a paste out of baking soda and water...fresh out of baking soda. Crush up an aspirin...all I got is Tylenol. Well, go to Walgreen's and ask a pharmacist...kinda doing my sitting-in-my-boxers in-for-for-the-night thing.

So, I get dressed and head to fucking Walgreens. By this time, the pain is shooting up and down my middle finger and somehow causing pain at the tips of the other four fingers as well. I get there and talk to the pharmacist. Hydrocortisone, an ice cube on th bite and pain reliever is the remedy. If it's pitted out by tomorrow, then it was a brown recluse bite and I should see a doctor.

I got home an hour ago, and now I'm in only moderate pain, but still pretty pissed off. I can't bend my finger very well, but on the up side, I have a medical excuse for flipping people off.

By the way, if you have anything happen to you as simple as a spider bite, don't go looking it up on WebMD. That site is like heroin for hypocondriacs; all worst case scenerios, all the time. I was pretty much okay with the pharmacist's recommendations, but WebMD now has me worried about necrosis, the plague and tetanous! If I wanted this kind of fear-mongering, I'd be watching the Republican Debate right now.