Mean streak

I can have a real mean streak sometimes. Today, I had two classic examples. I read an article about Charles Rocket committing suicide. He was a guy that was on Saturday Night Live back in the eighties. About the only thing he did on the show that gained him any notoriety was the fact that he got fired for cursing on the air during a sketch.

The article mentioned the supposed "curse of SNL" surrounding the deaths of Phil Hartman (murder), Chris Farley & John Belushi (both overdosed), Gilda Radner & Denitra Vance (both from cancer). It even went so far as to mention that Garrett Morris got shot back in the nineties, yet he survived.

Now, In thinking about this "curse", I can't help thinking, "AND JIMMY FALLON STILL WALKS THE EARTH?!?" So all day long I kept thinking of ways the really annoying stars could meet their demise. Rob Schneider: Strangled to death by a transvestite prostitute during an attempted post-trick robbery. Adam Sandler: Electrocuted due to faulty wiring during a performance of the Hanukkah Song. David Spade: Beheaded in mid-smirk.

The second instance came today while driving home from work, when a fucknut on a Honda (which I believe is Japanese for "training wheels") motorcycle weaved across two lanes of traffic to make the exit at the very last second. I did a play by play of what I hoped would happen to this guy. "Oh, what a shame, he's losing control of the bike, flying over the handlebars. Then the bike hits him square in the nuts...Oops! There goes the gas tank, engulfing him in flames. That's gotta hurt. Good thing that busload of grade school kids stopped to pee on him to put out the fire..."

Good thing I only THINK like this sometimes. If I ever went further than that, I'd be one sadistic son of a bitch.