Things that make me happy (a partial list)

1. Watching Scott McClellan, White House Press Secretary, fielding questions with that same look on his face as the fat kid in a third-grade dodgeball game. I keep waiting for him to plead, "Aw, c'mon you guys, cut it out!", or at least jump the podium and attempt to beat the crap out of that one guy that keeps asking him if Karl Rove is gonna be fired or not.

2. Tapioca pudding. 'Nuff said.

3. That little message when I update my blog: "This may take a few minutes, you have a large blog." Only, in my mind, I substitute the last word and imagine this being said by one of five random girls from my high school days.

4. Going into a bar I don't normally go to, ordering a Guinness and the bartender actually pours it correctly. There's a technique involved here, folks. Ahhh, Guinness: The patient man's beer.

5. Eight words: "Oh, I'm sorry. Tell you what, no charge." Sometimes, I'm imagining this being said by one of five random girls from my high school days.

6. That brief moment after one of my favorite TV shows where they say, "Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode." signalling that next week's show is not a rerun.

7. That moment of dawning comprehension when somebody realizes what they've figured something out. It's like getting to watch them become smarter. When this happens, I think back to that caveman who first made fire by rubbing two sticks together. "Hey, wait until Og gets a load of this!"

8. Being introduced to a woman that is waaaay out of my league. Even if it's for a short, fleeting moment, I'm charming as hell.

9. Doing something completely unexpected for someone else, and catching them off guard by it. In our jaded and cynical world, some days all it takes is opening the door for someone.

10. When people give alternate reality scenarios to express regret over a situation. If this is to be believed, because of what I've done here, my doppleganger in Bizarro World is well-paid, highly sexed, and thirty pounds lighter. What brings a smile to my face is the thought that Bizarro Fritschie is gonna screw up some day...let's just hope it's on a day when I buy lottery tickets.

11. Today's pic: Things that bounce off the wall of disturbing only to become hilarious.