Refinement on previous post
Today, I did a little soul searching and reflection on the relationships and near-relationships I've had in my life. I've run a wide gamut. In order I have been:
1. An alibi
2. A "maybe someday"
3. An exit strategy
4. Misunderstood
5. A fuck buddy
6. Someone to blame
7. Rebuilder of self-esteem
8. Consolation prize
9. Icing on the cake
10. Good friend
11. No frickin' clue what's going on
Not on that list was what I think I've deserved all along: A good, loving man who is wanted AND needed, not one or the other.
7 comments:
Seriously.... are you TRYING to make me cry?!?! Let me, at the VERY least, revel in the fantasy that there are still a few nice guys out there that want to be known as the "good, loving man who is wanted AND needed".
Trust me, I am a girl, and as a girl I can tell you one thing for certain... nice guys don't ALWAYS finish last.
If only for my own hopelessly romantic sanity, I have to believe that there is someone out there who will appreciate those wonderful qualities in another person.
Besides, if true and undying love wasn't the most incredible and rare thing on Earth, people wouldn't be willing to give up everything to find it. I think (I hope) that when you find it (and I know you will...), it will be SO worth the heartache.
Hang in there, kid! :)
It's not that nice guys always finish last, it's just that our way is never the path of least resistance. The trouble is that so many evil men have played the "nice guy" technique that it makes it impossible for truly nice guys to get anywhere without having to jump through half a million hoops just to show they are for real.
It's just frustrating on so many levels, that's all. My main point is that I've never had just a normal relationship. There's always been something that makes one of us go, "Yeah, things are good...but..." I've just had up to here with "...but..."
I am making progress, though. The past couple of tries have been more of a "...however...". The next step would be "...well, I dunno...", followed by "...I don't wanna jinx it..." until finally "...AND..."
I figure if I can justr get a girl to the point that she can't stop talking about me, then I'm all set.
It will happen. Just by reading your blog, I can sense that you are a nice guy with plenty to offer a girl. I hope you find her soon.
When you do, don't forget to blog all about it, post the engagement picture, the wedding photos, and baby's first sonogram... you know, since I am such a blog stalker, I will be needing my daily "fix"!
Good luck!
I know it'll happen...eventually. I'm just trying not to get too cynical about it. Just let me know when my bitching becomes completely irrational, okay?
Meanwhile, the search continues for a woman without any MAJOR hangups that she feels I need to "save" her from. For the longest time, when I'd start dating these women, I'd get that same feeling in the pit of my stomach that a building contractor must get when he realizes he has to file for another building permit..."Yep, this one's more of a fixer-upper than I first thought."
Um... uh oh. You have me paranoid. I am wondering if that is what every man that has ever dated me has thought.
You think it is rough for a guy, try being a 31 year old single Catholic girl. I have to hide at church because I am the only girl there without 15 kids with me.
Hey, I don't even try to pretend that my thoughts represent those of ALL men, so don't be so paranoid. All I was trying to say by that statement is that I'm the kind of guy that winds up having to fix whatever damage other guys do to these poor women.
And believe me, I know the whole Catholic stigma thing. I thought my grandmother would've killed me if she had found out that my last girlfriend and I moved in together...instead she was more relieved that her 29-year-old unmarried non-churchgoing grandson wasn't gay after all. But then again, she did give me throw pillows for Christmas, so maybe she is not completely without doubt.
HA HA!!! I can't even respond to that. The mental image of your grandmother buying you pillows because she wonders if you might just be gay is killing me!
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