I, smartass

My experiences over the past couple days have left me in a very sarcastic, often mean mood.

I had to log out of Yahoo Answers this evening because I was simply copying an pasting the same "Consider sterilization" comment to answer questions in the Singles & Dating section.

I reposted a chain bulletin on Myspace, asking what item you would purchase with a box of condoms to raise an eyebrow with the clerk. I put down a Hallmark card that reads, "Sorry about your loss".

I started a new chain bulletin that ties in with this article I read about the first chewable contraceptive for women, and if/when they introduce the contraceptive chewing gum, what would the flavors be? I ventured the guesses "Condomint", "No Baby Berry" and "Retaining Watermelon".

I suggested to my boss that maybe people would pay their invoices more promptly if he took a note from the common pimp. For instance, in lieu of "Final Notice", instead put "Am I gonna have to choke a bitch?"

I called the insurance company to see when I would hear from an adjuster, and when they asked to put me on hold, I said, "I'm not going anywhere...and neither is my car at the moment."


I need a drink. Off to Arnie's!