Son of a BITCH!

I had intended for this post to be about the sneak preview of The Holiday I went to tonight, but instead some dumbass hit my car after I got home, so I'm gonna vent about that!

I had been home about thirty minutes. I had the heater on and I was sitting on my couch watching the Daily Show. My feet were just getting nice and toasty next to the heater, I was feeling all warm and fuzzy, then CRUNCH!

I run to my window, pull apart the blinds and see a small Saturn coupe followed by a pickup truck pull away from where I had just parked my car. For a split second, I thought they had hit each other...but why would they both be pulling away?

I ran outside, barefooted in the snow and saw the two of them pulling into a driveway down the street. I ran up to them, more pissed than I've been in a long fucking time and announced my presence with the words, "You better have insurance!" They were both still sitting in their vehicles. The guy in the truck said "Yeah, we're looking for it right now."

It was good to know that they were much more calm about it than I was, but panic soon hit them when they heard me on my phone saying, "Police department, please?"

This little blond girl in the saturn stumbled up to me, urging me to hang up the phone, telling me that she'll pay for the damage. When in the history of civilization has anyone gotten away with that shit? Her demeanor (drunk or stoned or just rock-stupid) only assured me that calling the cops was a very, very, very good idea.

I get off the phone and walk over to my car to inspect the damage. The girl and her boyfriend (the guy in the pickup) followed me and kept telling me that they'd pay for it, that I didn't need to get the cops involved and that she just slid on some ice. The closest patch of ice to my car was fifteen feet away and about the size of my hand, not to mention it wasn't even in the trajectory in which she hit my car. I wasn't buying it for a second.

They walked back to their house and went inside. I went back into my apartment and put on some slippers and stood by my car for the cops. While I was waiting, a car pulled up to the stop sign. The passenger got out, stood there, took a piss on the street, got back in the car and they drove off. That would've been a great time for smokey to show up, but nooooo...

A few minutes later, my neighbor from across the street came out to see what happened. I told her the whole story, and when I was done, she asked me which apartment I lived in. I pointed it out to her, and she said, "You rent from [landlord's name here], don't you?" in a disparaging tone. My ears perked up.

She told me of how she rented from the guy once, got screwed and had to take him to court. I told her about all the shit he's pulled with me, and she didn't seem the least bit surprised...A letter from me to the Mayor's Action Committee is being processed at this very moment.

The cops showed up. I gave them my information, pointed out which house they were in, and calmly awaited further instructions. Minutes later, the officer asked if I could point them out in a line-up. I told them yes. Then, the officer went over to the car to look at the damage. I had gone inside to grab my camera, and all my years of watching CSI: really paid off. I pointed out that there's no way that small patch of ice could've caused her to skid into my car at that angle, unless her car had bald tires and the alignment out of whack by about 45 degrees. The officer was inclined to agree with me, but there have been too many accidents because of the snow and ice for them to rule out the girl's story.

I got a police report number and the girl's insurance info. The cop said it was liability only, not full coverage, and that the airbags went off in her car. The officer also informed me that the girl was getting ticketed for being at fault, so she may have a hard time getting anything from my insurance company.

The damage looks like it might be pretty bad. There weren't any fluids leaking out, but the driver's side wheel well was resting on the wheel, the driver's side door was untouched, but the fender was bent in a way that the door couldn't open more than three inches, the hood is crumpled, the headlight contains parts of her bumper and my bumper is barely attached to the car at all. I can't imagine it being totalled, but it looks like it may be damned close. My only hope is that there's some damage caused by the dislocated bumper to warrant getting a new passenger-side fender. That sum'bitch has been dented since two weeks after I got the car.

So, tomorrow morning, I must take the morning off to deal with her insurance company, and I'm not getting off the phone with them until I have a rental car reserved and ready for pick-up. I'm pretty much caught up on my work, so it shouldn't be any big deal to take the morning off.