My favorite comedic creations from conversations I've had over the past ten years with my friends

Yoder: Yoda's backwoods country cousin

Mittens, the housepet osprey

Unneccessarily surly Kenny Loggins

Bruce the gay alligator

CSI Barney Fife

The head manager of PANTERA Bread Company

The permed skunk

Hannibal Lecter: Wal-Mart Greeter

Slim-Fast Buddha

Jasper, the timid necrophiliac

Law and Order - Animal Control Unit

Cake pie: Baking cake mix in a pie crust

Pope Dickhead XVI

Godzilla's job interview at Taco Bell

Slap-fight Club

Sparky the frustrated, loudmouth mime: "I'm in a box, you dumb bastard!"

Pulp Fiction Cereal

The loud guy from the Oxy-Clean commericals trying to pick up chicks at a bar

Bob Ross reacting badly to the art supply store being out of forest green

The disembodied floating asshole

The greasy, asthmatic cat

Jesus' eHarmony profile

Mr. Reuben Sandwich

Elvin Dresley - Elvis' fed-up neighbor

Playskool's My First Huka

Pabst "Participant" Ribbon - Even cheaper because it's unfiltered

The White Light Special (a.k.a. the "Code Blue) - Double sausage cheeseburger with bacon, fried like a Monte Cristo, topped with chili, cheese, white gravy, more cheese, brown gravy, more bacon, more cheese and powdered sugar.

Celine Dion's Mein Kamph