Moving past frustration to uncontrolable laughter

Last week I had a project for one of our more high-maintenance clients. It was a program (she called it a flyer) for a performance they were putting on. On Thursday, I got an email from her telling me it was perfect, so we got it on the press right away.

Friday morning, she emailed me saying she needed a PDF of the flyer for the performance so the theater could do something with. She said she needed the one with the white space at the bottom. The one I just did, however, didn't have this white space she spoke of. I assumed that she meant that she needed a PDF-only version of the layout that would have space for mailing information. I sent her an email to clarify this.

By the time I was getting ready to leave, I had not heard back from her yet. So, I emailed her a PDF of the program we just printed for her with the message "please let me know what changes I need to make to this PDF for the theater people in regards to this 'white space" thing."

I get into the office yesterday to find three messages from her. The first one telling me that she wanted the PDF of the full-color POSTCARD we did for her back in May. That's what she meant! The second message was the same as the first, only worded a little stronger, and this time in all caps with at least five exclamation points at the end of each sentence. The third was a forwarding of her email from Friday morning with the words "CAN'T YOU READ?!?!?!!!!"

Calling me an idiot three times before I get my coffee. Wait, it gets better...

A few minutes later, she requests changes to the program we just printed with blank space on it for mailing info. I inform her that it had already been printed, and she goes absolutely apeshit! "Why did you ask me about changes, then?" Because I thought you only wanted the changes made for a PDF version of the file for the theater people to use, and I've already apologized for that mix-up. "Why did you print it already?" Because you told me on Thursday that it was perfect! "I can't accept these without space for mailing." Then, we'll re-print it.

Even more mind-boggling, she emails me a PDF of the postcard to show me what she need s a PDF of!

I make the changes to the program, email her a proof and mark the already printed pieces to go to the recycling plant. Within an hour, I get an email back saying it looks perfect...again. I fight the temptaion to ask her if she's sure, and decided to wait a few minutes. Sure enough, she writes back to tell me of another change. I make those changes and proof it again with her. She approves it, but I'm still waiting until the morning to send it to the press...just in case another change comes in overnight.

In the midst of all the emails she sent me today, 23 in total, she asks me to put together a newspaper ad for the performance. She sends me a link to the newspaper's ad specs. There are seven different ad sizes, so I write her back to ask her which one she wants. Her response: "I already emailed you the link to the ad specs!"

I inform her of the seven different ad sizes listed in the specs, and I get back the message: "Oh, full page, sorry." Great, color or black/white? "Color." I hand off the info so a work order can be written, and in the meantime, I get another message: "WAIT!!! We want a HALF PAGE instead. Still in color, though!"

Again, I'm waiting for whatever weird changes come in overnight before I proceed. All throughout this ordeal, I successfully fought off the temptaion to write this woman "Please ask your doctor if Zanax is right for you."