My evil side came out to play

I was driving home last night on the Broken Arrow Expressway, and behind my pickup truck there was a guy on a motorcycle tailgating/drafting behind me. He was close enough behind me that I couldn't see his headlight in my rear view. But once we passed under a street light, I noticed that this jackass was also talking on the phone. Not with a headset, not with a Bluetooth, but holding the phone to his head with one hand and steering with the other.

Ordinarily, I like motorcycles. Some of the fondest memories I have of my dad was the old Indian he used to drive around. However, I feel that if you're gonna ride a motorcycle, get a real one...not the crotch rocket this shithead was riding on behind me last night. These are always the assholes that speed past you on the shoulder while your car is stuck in traffic. Oh, how I wish I had the balls to open the passenger door at that precise moment they come along beside me.

And, ordinarily, I'm forgiving of people talking on cell phones while driving. We're all guilty of it at one point or another. However, if you're on a motorcycle, you're not only putting your life, and others' lives at risk...you're also being extremely rude to whomever is on the other end of that phone call. I don't know about you, but I get asked to get out of the wind if the slightest breeze is blowing into my phone's mic, much less 60 MPH wind off the highway.

Anyway, the jackass kept getting closer and closer to my bumper, then he'd back off a bit, then get closer again. All the while, he's still on the damn phone. So, when he backed off a bit, I lightly tapped my brakes, expecting jackass to drop the phone and focus on driving for once. Instead, hequickly wedghed the phone to his ear with his shoulder so he could steer with both hands. He got alongside me and mouthed what I thought was "motherfucker", then sped off.

Telling this story to a friend, she asked what I would've done if he ran into the back of me and went flying over the truck. Sure, I would've felt kinda bad about it, but the proud feeling that I would've helped Natural Selection along a little bit would've outweighed my guilt.