Okay, lesson learned

I just had to flame a good friend of mine on his blog's message board (yeah, I'm that much of a fucking loser), about his attitude towards a particular blind date from his past. And during my diatribe, I got to thinking about my own attitude about dating in general.

A year ago, I took myself out of the game. Looking back on my posts at the time, I had no clue why I was doing it, no clue why I continued to do it, and less of a clue why I'm even entertaining the idea to this day. I told my friend just a few of the things I've learned about taking a year off from dating, and I thought I'd continue the list here.

What I've learned as a result of purposely not dating for over a year:

1. Never take a year off from dating. It's gonna be hard as hell getting back in the game. It's like not paying your taxes for five years then trying to get approved for a mortgage.

2. One of the reasons I got out of the game was because I was tired of chasing women who didn't want to get caught. Fuck that! What I need is someone who'll run by my side at the same speed.

3. Turning down a chance to be with someone because you have a bad self-image is fucking stupid when you realize that that person wanted you in spite of that self image.

4. Sex and love can be mutually exclusive. the former doesn't always mean the latter will follow. Besides, giving up sex altogether can be disastrous. When you find yourself getting turned on my visible pantylines, you need to get laid pronto.

5. Online porn can get pretty lame, and playing free no-risk Texas Hold 'Em is not a reasonable substitute.

6. A lot of things are lame as hell alone: Going to the movies, driving home from a party, going to bed, waking up on a Saturday morning to no alarm, etc.

7. Life is too damned short to be eating microwaved chicken pot pies over the kitchen sink.

8. Likewise, spending a Friday night rearranging the furniture in the living room when no one is coming over any time in the near future is worthy of a severe beating.

9. One should never look his/her cat and wonder, how does he do it?

10. You can only hear people tell you how great of a guy you are before you start to believe it.


So, just to clarify, I'm no longer purposely not dating. Not that I'm gonna be going out with anyone in the immediate future, mind you, just saying that I'm not gonna be dismissing the idea of going out with someone. I've been off the bicycle for a while, and I need to test the theory that you never forget how to ride it. However, just to be safe, I'm putting the training wheels on.

Okay, that was a fucked-up metaphor. Suffice to say that I'm no longer gonna be dismissive, just selective. I'm not gonna go on a first date with the same attitude I have at the craps table. Its not the end of the world if I strike out on the first date, and it's probably not gonna be the be-all-end-all if I score, either. The keys to my success are gonna be a positive attitude, realistic expectations, open mind, level head, no heart on my sleeve, no stone in my chest.

All that being said, odds are I'll be trying internet dating sites within six months. Hey, I said nothing about dropping the cynicism.