Thou shalt not be a dick

I've decided I'm gonna seek out various scriptures of the Bible...not for spiritual enlightenment, but to tell bible-thumpers they're being a self-righteous prick.

I know it sounds mean, but let's play it out. Someone yells out "JOHN 3:16!", hoping that I'll have some sort of awakening, I'll throw back my own. The beauty of this plan is that, hopefully, they'll have to go look it up, and by the time they figure out I just insulted them, they're long gone.

Here's one I found today, thanks to my co-worker Vanessa. Matthew 23:27:

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all that is impure."

Nice, huh?

It's not that I hate Christians or anything. I just live in Tulsa, which has the highest number of churches and ministries per capita in the world. It gets a little tiring hearing all the preaching about humility from someone you know drives a Lexus, wears a Rolex, and has a house larger than Rhode Island.

It's like George Carlin said, "Religion is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it to walk straight, fine. Do what you feel you need to do. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes if I don't want to, and don't go nailing lifts onto the natives' feet."

Here is a pic of my friends Mary and Amy, who are the band Three Penny Upright, playing tonight and every second Wednesday night of the month at St. Michael's Alley, 31st & Harvard.